Roses | ziam.

Fumbling Towards Frustration

Barbara nudged Niall.

Niall nudged Barbara back.

They did a funny little dance of back and forth, the pair fidgeting and shuffling futilely around in the doorway. Zayn seemed to take no notice of the both of them, his mind filled with thoughts that Niall and Barbara did not know how to breach.

"Go on, he's your best friend! Go and say something to him!" Barbara insisted, keeping her voice low and throwing her husband a dirty look. Her eyes were glazed with worry as she gnawed helplessly on her knuckle. Zayn had been mooching around like a funeral on legs, having done nothing for the past hour but to stare blankly at the newspaper clipping in his hands and gaze strangely into the middle distance. The couple had tried approaching him before, but Zayn had simply dredged up an apathetic smile.

"Am I… am I in the way? I guess I'll be on the way home then-"

"No no no, Zayn! You can stay here; it's not a problem at all! We don't have anywhere to go today!"

"That's easy enough for you to say! The last time I gave Zayn advice he ended up snogging his ex!" Niall whispered back quickly. "You told me before that I've got an emotional range of a teaspoon, so I won't be much help at times like this, right?" Niall pointed out hopefully.

"You remember things like that and forget it whenever I ask you to do chores like to bring the washing in and to clean the fireplace," Barbara hissed back furiously, elbowing Niall painfully in the ribs. In response, Niall mustered a watery grin and gently pushed his wife forward.

Barbara directed a long-suffering sigh at Niall, rolled up her sleeves and made her way towards Zayn.

"Your tea's cold. Let me brew you another cup," Barbara said, smiling warmly at the lad. Zayn jerked out of his reverie and blinked rapidly as though he had woken up from a deep sleep. Zayn thanked Barbara quietly and returned sadly to his musings, his chin propped up on his palm and a troubled furrow caught between his brows.

He looked at the newspaper in his hands, uncertainty and confusion welling up in him. Folds and wrinkles snaked out from the sides of the clipping, and Zayn gripped it just a bit tighter. The article consisted of a brief write-up about the dissolving of the partnership between Payne and Labelle, introducing Prunella Denis as Liam's right-hand man.

Cold guilt closed its tentacles around him, and Zayn snarled angrily at nothing in particular. His black hair was like a scrawl of ink, having ran his hand through it so many times in sheer what does this mean, if they were getting back together, then why did they break up the partnership, does it mean that Liam had never done anything with him, what does it mean for us, I don't know, I don't know!- frustration.

look at all their-

A fetid emotional cocktail rose up in him like bile, fueled by a rankling mixture of despair and misery. He had spooled back every moment of the past two months, over-analyzing every miniscule scowl that had ever cast a shadow across Liam's face, dissecting every genuine smile has he ever meant it at all- that had graced Liam's lips. Zayn had managed to strip away his hard veneer, had battled his way into the inner sanctum of Liam's heart, and it had all been for naught at the end.

love washed down the drain-

Their relationship had been incapacitated by the weight of the things left neglected and unsaid. It was as though the world had stopped together with them; the calendar of Zayn's life was now governed by the last time he had set eyes on the brunette it's been two days since I've seen him, he hasn't contacted me, he hasn't, is it my fault-

But into his coma of sorrow, righteous indignation came striding in. A sparkling mudslide of insecurity tumbled over Zayn, and Zayn smacked a hand across his forehead, punishing himself for being so amazingly daft he never did chase me, he never did apologize for what he had said those few weeks ago, we will never fit well together, because I was never good enough and I will never, never be good enough!- and stupid throughout the course of the courtship.