Therapy Confessions To Doctor Julia

Thirteenth Email to Dr. Julia

Dear Dr. Julia,

The prep rally started like always crazy fun we did a thing for the football game tonight. Then the lights went low and they honored all the seniors girls. With us six being last. We decided that we were gonna do the talent potion first. Desiaha and her boyfriend competed in basketball against each other, which was funny to see. Mimi and her boyfriend did acrobatic tricks, which was amazing. I had no idea that they did that. Celia and her boyfriend did a Latino dance in Latino tradition garb, that was beautiful. Lizzy and her boyfriend of course played I wanna hold your hand by the bettles on the saxophone and drums, sounded amazing like always. Karen and her escort did a weird skit about relationships, which hardly got anyone to clap for.

I went last with Tremiane, I let him help me choose the song. If this was with Cliff it would have been Stan by Eminem and Dido. He choose for us Take Care Drake and Rihanna. It was fun dancing around and singing totally off key, Trey was so incredible he could really sing. It made me smile and heart beat faster hearing his voice. The room erupted with applause and cheers. I started to cry. He put his arm around me and whispered what's wrong. Nothing I told him, because it was more perfect than I could have imagined. I don't even think have Cliff here would have made it better.

The guys announced the girls and did a little speech about them before the speech 3 minutes in length if need be. This is what Tremiane Bufford said about me:

Hello, I am Gretchen Werniger Escort, Tremaine Buford. Many of you find us an odd team or weird that she said yes to go anywhere with me. However, you guys don't really know Gretchen then. See Gretchen was the first white person to talk to me and not ask in class if i was on the right class becuase it was an honors one. We were in freshman year Honors Biology as we were lab partners and we sat next to each other all year. So all year I cheated off her when I didn't study for the Exams, just joking Mr. Nelson. We were studying for an honors English exam when Cliff Bumpus came in to help us and she got up to go to the bathroom. We talked for awhile before I asked do you care that we hang out. He laughed at me and said "you do realize I'm the most wanted guy in the school and every white fathers dream for his daughter, I am not worried. (Everyone in the room laughed at that, while a year dripped down my face) I realized in that moment that Cliff was probably the most amazing white guy I have ever met in my life because usually white guys hate when their girls hang out with guys like me. Last weekend we even had a problem with it.

But, Gretchen is different from other girls she's smart, but doesn't focus on that, she can sing and dance, but doesn't really care for that either, and she's beautiful, she cares alittle about that. (Everyone laughs at that part) yet, there's more to her, watch her closely at school Masses or in Religion classes, she loves this school and her faith. I wrote down my doctors appointment time on a paper for Religions Ethics and she asked the whole class what verse it was raffling off like 30 before class was over. Once we walked out I told her it was my doctors appointment, but I was super impressed that she knew all those verses so I let her keep going. She punched me in the chest, which I did deserve. Lastly, the reason she my Queen and should be yours is that is she is relatable to all of us and even though sometimes she comes off as better than most of us if you talk to her you realize she's just likes being alone with a small group of people. So let's give a warm welcome to my Queen and hopefully yours, Gretchen Werniger.

I walked up and gave him a huge hug, whispering thank you in his ear. He looks at me and wipes a tear from my face. I turned to the sea of people ready to address my subjects with his speech.

Good Afternoon to President Father Certia, Priciple Sister Diane , other faculty and staff, my beloved teachers and other teachers (students laughed) Parents and families, especially, Cliffard Bumpus', Tremaine Bufford's and of course my own. Also, to my fellow students may you be a freshman or a junior. The Class of 2013 how are you today, man I love you guys. (The Senior Class went Crazy)  Lastly, to the other Queens that spoke before me, that's for making me look bad, I won't be as great as you were. Desiaha, I loved how humble you were. Celia, your dress for the talent show was just as beautiful as how well you transitioned into speaking spanish in your speech. Mimi, could you perform for me at my wedding or something your talent is amazing that alone should win you queen. Lizzy, do Nick and you act that cute or are you that cute l, either way so looking forward to that wedding. Karen, your speech was as cute as a white baby tiger.

Honestly, I wasn't the popular girl you all know me as before St. Joe's. I went to Grade school at St. Mary's grade school. My older brothers Fritze, Finn, and Erik all were pranksters that everyone hated. Most teachers would give me a hard time even when I was the smart student. They didn't want another Werniger in class. Trisha was my only friend their really. So when I came here and people likes my brothers I got to know how it felt to have people like you. Guys thought I was beautiful, people found my interest in school a beautiful thing, I wasn't just some punks sister, I was myself and people like me, especially my boyfriend Cliff Bumpus. He changed my life, people wanted to know me, how I did my hair, what type of make up I liked and who I listened too. The best part was being able to find a place and people who accepted me for who I was without judgement. I never had to pretend I was someone who i wasn't like in grade school.

However, Febrary 12, 2012 Cliff Bumpus died in a Car crash on his way home from College. That day I felt my world had ended. I lost a part of me that I will never get back until my own death. Yet, the most obvious one was i was never gonna hear his "queer" voice again when he would say "baby, are you sure college is not making my ass look fat in my favorite pair of skinny jeans." (I did his voice and everyone started laughing) Honestly, I pulled away this summer didn't go to that many parties and thought I wouldn't make it to this stage because I didn't care to be popular anymore, I more cared about how I was gonna live my life without him.

It wasn't until last weekend that it is possible, I just needed to be beat the hell out of by white guys to realize that Cliff was my one and only white guy, so all of you other races I'm single and ready to have people throw me dirty looks when I pick up my mixed child from day care. (The crowd erupted once more in laughs) I'm totally joking, I like were I am and honestly, I probably won't get over Cliff until maybe college or later. No matter how much Katie Bumpus tells me my looks won't last forever, have you seen my mom. (The crowd cheers once more at what I said)

Lastly, I would like to thank a couple of people first Mrs. White for looking over my speech. Second, Cliff's parents for coming out to support me even though you really didn't have too, I will always love you. Third, the Buford family, you guys have been one of the kindness people I know, whenever I would come over you guys would always give me extra food saying, because of brothers you are skin and bone you need more food, I do have to confess, I mostly gave the extras to them, they very much enjoy them. To my brothers thank you for being crazy, funny, strong, good guys even if you liked to give me a hard time now and again. To my parents you guys have put up a lot not with me but with the boys so thanks for still trying to have time for me. (Everyone laughed there too) To Aylssa Bintern for bringing the worst put of people, just to show me that people still care about me. Lastly, but surely not the Least, my handsome escort, Tremaine Buford, for always making me smile and helping me even when I don't always ask for it. Thank you everyone.

Okay, I really need to get ready for the crowning now!

TTYL,

Gretchen