The Right Leg Of Voltron

part 7

Keith trained late into the evening until his bones ached, he realised that he'd never tained this hard before. He always stopped when Lance came in...

He stopped the simulation and walked out the room slowly, suddenly feeling melancholy.

"Hunk?" By this point Keith had made it to the kitchen, where Hunk was busy cooking. "What are you doing up so late?" A little bit hypocritical but oh well.

"Oh, this happened a lot. I always forget to check the time. Lance usually comes in and-" he cut himself off, small tears falling down his face. "I just miss him so much! Who knows what's happening to him!"

Keith stood around awkwardly as Hunk dried his tears, sniffling a bit. "Sorry about that. I'm going to head off to bed now, it's late."

Keith didn't quite know how to respond so he just stayed silent, waiting till Hunk left before exiting the room himself and walking further down the hall.

"Pidge? What are you doing up?" She yelped at the sudden intrusion and slammed her laptop shut, looking like a guilty child caught with their hand in a cookie jar. "Oh uh sorry. Lance usually puts me to bed." Her eyes widened a the realisation and she rubbed her small tears out of her eyes.

"I didn't realise how m-much he looked after me. He w-was like a b-big brother to... to...m-me." She sniffled and put a hand on the door. "G'night Keith." The door was slammed shut in Keith's face and he took a step backwards before continuing on his way. He really wasn't sure where he was going but it was like an invisible string was pulling him along, an unknown destination in a familiar surrounding.    

Keith was so long in thought that he wasn't paying attention and slammed into someone, falling with a yelp. "Oh, sorry Keith." Shiro put his robotic hand out and helped Keith to his feet, smiling apologetically.  "No it's fine. How're you?"

He asked beacause Shiro was shaking slightly and was covered in sweat. "What's that?" Keith had only just noticed the mug in his hand and was suddenly grateful that he didn't spill whatever was inside.

"I'm ok, just ahead a bad dream and decided to make some hot chocolate." Keith furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the mug. "I didn't know we had hot chocolate." Shiro nodded, taking a sip before replying. "Lance made it, he wanted to feel closer to home so he spent ages experimenting with ingredients we had. It tastes so similar as well. He used to sit with me for a while and we'd talk whilst drinking it."

Keith suddenly felt remorseful. Lance had been helping everyone late at night. He did so much for them and yet they constantly scolded him, never recognising his achievements. "I'll see you tomorrow Keith, goodnight." He waved slightly as he continued down the hall but Keith didn't move, realisation that Lance was actually gone only just sinking in.

His world collapsed around him and he sunk to the cold floor slowly, back pressed against the wall as he began to cry. The tears stung his eyes and he let out a wracked sob. What if he never saw Lance again? He buried his face into his knees pitifully and tried not to imagine what was happening to Lance right now.

Eventually he managed to stand up, shaking like a leaf in autumn as he slowly made his way back to where he'd came from. He stopped at his door and looked to the right slowly, eyes lingering on a door. Lance's door.

His feet shuffled on there own and his hand was touching the door before he'd even known he was moving. Part of him wanted to knock but knowing that there was no Lance to respond he simply walked in, treading on uncharted territory.

Keith had never been inside Lance's room before but it looked somewhat how he expected it to. Stars drawn on the ceiling, neat and organised makeup spread over the dresser. One thing thst really caught his eye was the wall beside his bed. It was completely covered in pictures of them. All the paladins, everyone on the ship, random aliens he'd met after saving a planet.

How did he get them? That was the thought that struck Keith initially but when he thought back on there last visit to the space mall he realised that Lance went off for a long time, just as he did at every visit.

Allura had told him off for wondering but this was what he was doing, printing pictures so he could look at them every night. He really did see them as a family.

Keith was starstruck as he looked over them all, one catching his attention. It was a picture of him. Actually there were lots of pictures including him, what? On the bed was a book, a diary to be precise. Keith knew he shouldn't look in it but that didn't stop him from reading anyway.

I'm supposed to write the date here but obviously I don't know what it is, I really need to ask Pidge if she can find out. I wonder what my mum's doing right now, if she's still with that asshole or not. I fucked up today and Shiro was upset with me, Allura told me off for being late. I'm such a disappointment. The worst part is that Keith hates me, I'm not surprised though, I hate myself too. Didn't stop his words from hurting though. I really don't know if I can do this anymore, I know I shouldn't be here. I should just end it all but I'm too scared to.

Lance McClain.

Keith didn't know what to do, so he just stayed still, reading over the words again in hopes that his eyes were playing tricks on him. Did Lance really think that about himself? Keith screamed and threw the book across the room, hitting off the wall and falling to the floor with a thud as he thought about his biggest regret.

I never even told him that I loved him.