I throw open the gates of hell and sweep onto the grounds. I brush past the tortured souls that are servants and move into the place. The doors of the throne room blow open as I come in.
'I am home bitches what's the WiFi password I forgot during my time in the human world.'
'Uuuggghhh for the last time it's #hella awesome number 1' says Satan in annoyance.
'Got it cap' I say kicking off my shoes and flopping onto the couch.
'I told you to stop calling me cap and can you at least sit down on the couch nicely I know this is hell and everything but I would like to furniture to stay nice,'
'Yes cap,' I say with a smile.
'So how was your time in the human world this time?'
'Ugghhhh I HATE being resurrected. The people are all nice and giving, it makes me want to puke. I didn't even get resurrected during a war this time it was during peace and all that boring shit.'
'I sure hope you started a war before you left,' remarks Satan.
'Of course I did what kind of demon do you think I am!' I exclaim.
'Hey don't use that tone with me young lady' scolds Satan pointing a finger at me.
'Fine mom' I relent rolling my eyes.
The conversation begins to drag until I say, 'so how have things been here in Hell while I was gone?'
'Pretty good I got some new souls to torment. Speaking of which I have a welcome home gift for you.'
'Yay!' I yell bolting up. My mother gets up too and leads me to one of the adjoining chambers. The inside is painted red and black. There are about 1,000 souls inside.
'What is this?' I ask.
'These,' Satan says gesturing to the souls, 'are the souls of the worst humans that lived during your time as a human. They are the rapists, child abusers, and sex offenders. They are yours to torture.'
'THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU MOM YOU ARE AWESOME,' I screams jumping up and down with happiness. I know that this is hell and that we like when people to bad things but we really HATE people rapists, child abusers and sex offenders. We get our joy from causing them all the pain and more that they caused their victims.
