Your Average Straight Guy

Chapter 2 - My First Thing with a Guy

     I had never had any relationships with guys before. Sure, I could fantasize about them for hours but I've never been romantically involved with one. But that changed the summer going into freshman year. It came out of nowhere one night in June. His name was Julien. Don't get me wrong I've noticed him before. I figured that he was gay or at least in the closet like me, by the way gay guys have excellent gaydar. We can tell when somebody is gay after one conversation. I've talked with him a few times and thought he was cute, but we never talked until that night. It was about 8:00 at night. I was out with my friends when I get a text from Julien. He was asking if we could talk. I was kind of weirded out because remember we never talked before that night. He was asking me if I was gay. I told him no. Then he said that it was a shame I wasn't because he liked me. So many emotions were going through my head. Like how could a guy like me. Should I be interested? Do I like him back? We talked about it the entire night. He was really cute and sweet. And if I really thought that I could be gay, I wanted to see what dating a guy could be like. So he asked me out and I said yes. On that night in June I had my first boyfriend!
    That summer with Julien was the best. We would FaceTime every night. We would sneak off to the woods by the park to make out and cuddle. I had never been happier. Then a few weeks before high school was going to start he dropped the bomb on me. I thought things were fine with us. I really did think Julien liked me. Or so I thought. One day Julien and I were texting. He seemed off like he wasn't himself. I asked what was wrong. And then he dropped the bomb on me. He had told me that he was straight. He said he tried dating a guy and it didn't feel right and he was so sorry but he just couldn't be with me. I didn't know what to do. Julien was the first guy that I had ever had real feelings for. I cried all day. I had lost what I felt was my only shot of a relationship i thought was real.
My break up with Julien hit me pretty hard. I felt really empty. But I bottled up my feelings enough to be ready for the first day of school.