amelia ; styles

0.2

CHAPTER TWO

dear journal,

today was the first day i had ever looked in the mirror and immediately wanted to go back to sleep. i felt ugly. uglier than i ever had and i wanted to cry. and now, here i sit, crying. i have a mirror placed on my desk that i use to put on my light amount of makeup, and all i see in it is a person with too many flaws to count.

i was a little off today, but the only person who seemed to notice was harry. he always noticed everything because he was the only one who was ever and always there. i'm sure it's safe to say that he's the only who understand, who cares. my own mum thought i was ok. i'm sorta glad, though. i didn't want to make up some lame excuse right off the bat.

but maybe other things were on her mind. after all, my dad and her have been acting quite weird lately - they were distant. like they are fading. my dad has been lying in bed a lot lately, and it's starting to worry me.

anyways, i saw anthony and jamie holding hands in the hallway. harry gave me a sympathetic look but i shrugged it off before making an excuse to go to the bathroom. i nearly missed third period because i was in a stall, crying. every time someone would walk in, my cries would go silent and i would cry into the collar of my shirt, my short hair tucking in it and getting wet with tears as well. when i looked in the mirror, my eyes were puffy and red. well, my entire face was red. i had never cried so much in my life than i did then. my heart felt like it was literally shattered by being dropped on the floor and stepped on by a large mosh pit.

when i walked out of the bathroom, people were giving me weird looks and rolling their eyes. i walked to english with my head down today, because i didn't want people to see the pain behind my eyes. or my face. i felt so ugly.

- amelia xx