amelia ; styles

2.1

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

** i listened to you raise me up by josh groban while writing this and i'm sobbing.**

dear journal,

the worst news you could ever be waken up to is your mother, coming into your room, attempting to be strong but choking on her sobs, informing you that your father has died in the hospital twenty minutes ago.

i felt numb and shocked. one of the most loving men in my life is dead. it suddenly felt as if my throat was closing up and i gripped onto my bed sheets, gasping for air. the tears were pouring down my face like a rainshower. we held each other in our arms and sobbed ourself to sleep that night.

the next morning, i woke up to a knock on the door and in walked my sister. she sobbed into my shoulder, proving to me that my father's death wasn't a dream.

i'll never forget the times when i was young and he would lift me on his shoulders, running around the house as if i were on a horse or fast plane. i'll never forget out tickle fights. i'll never forget the warmth of his voice and sound of his laugh and his assuring words. i'll never forget the feeling of his arms wrapping around me in such a comforting way. i'll never forget our daddy-daughter dates and our inside jokes. our late night sneak out without mum knowing to go and have a late night pizza party. i'll never forget the day he told me he was dying. i'll never forget the day he was put in the hospital. i'll never forget my dad.

this pain is the worst type of pain i have ever felt. i'll never get my dad back. i'll never be able to see him again. it's all gone. he's not here anymore with us. he isn't there to greet me when i arrive home from school. he isn't there to stick up for me. is isn't there to protect me. he won't be able to teach me how to drive like he did with elise. he want be able to walk elise or i down the aisle on the big day. he won't be there. he's gone and all i have left are memories.

i love you daddy and i'll miss you forever.

- amelia xx