Paradise [HIATUS]

chapter four

Bitch, this 'bout to get deep!

-Ameerah.

-shawn-

I groaned, my eyes shut as they looked towards me. Me, me, Shawn Mendes. I'm just a regular guy, trying to live my musical life without any distractions until a beautiful girl comes along and takes that wish away, Echo is my soul, my heart, and the inspiration for my music.

I grabbed the guitar I brought with me and began to strum a few random chords, most likely C1 and A5. Then attached some lyrics to it.

'Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.

Sometimes I feel like givin' up,

But I just can't.

It isn't in my blood.'

I felt a tear fall down my cheek, why did I leave her? Why did I leave her in such confusion and despair? You idiot Shawn! You ruined the once decent fucking thing in you're life, not just ruined it, lost it! I wanted to scream until the words dried out, why now? But that point I was sobbing heavily, I quickly grabbed my stuff and hurried to the airport, a million thoughts running through my mind. I pushed them away, trying to find my light in this darkness I had just walked into. Echo wouldn't help me, I've self-harmed once or twice over the last week, and it really helped. A way to remove the pain by adding more.

"Hello, Shawn?" A soft voice said from behind me. Mahogany?

I turned, feeling scared. The bright face of Mahogany Lox was before me, she smiled and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. "What's happened? Y-You're crying, why are you here in L.A anyway?"

Time to explain some pretty deep shit. Taking a deep breath, I looked at the redhead, "So, midway through last week, I noticed some people saying awful things about Echo and I pushed the blame onto myself. It became too much to handle, so I smashed my phone and laptop before running away. Firstly, I went to Cameron who was leaving for the tour the next day, then I came to L.A. This last week I've been on the streets with just my wallet, notebook, pen and guitar."

Her mouth was agape, I winced, praying she wouldn't be angry. Mahogany pulled me into a hug once more, I cried to her about small things for about 1 hour before mustering the courage to say, "I need to see Echo." She nodded approvingly before pulling her phone out of her jacket pocket, I turned away. I didn't want to look at the bloody object, they scare me.

"We've got a flight in 10 minutes," She mumbled, "gate 43."

We began to walk to the gate, muttering small words as we did. I then began to shake, I heard the click of cameras around us. Intaking a sharp breath, we hurried on to the plane. My eyes hurt, my lungs burn, I wanted to be sick. Mahogany smiled reassuringly as we took off.

"She misses you, Shawn," She said softly.

I frowned, "How...?"

She sighed, and showed me her conversation with her.

Echo: I miss his eyes, damn those eyes.

Echo: and his natural curly hair, he should let it grow a bit long but not too long.

Echo: his singing in the morning: croaky and deep but still beautiful.

Echo: and his smile, wow.

I felt my face heat up as Mahogany laughed, "You're so lucky to have her."

"I'm the luckiest person alive right now, Well, you know what I mean,"

She nodded. A few hours slipped slowly, I didn't sleep. What if she doesn't like me anymore? What if her and Aaliyah got hurt? What if Dad died? What if Matt broke 'Liyah's heart? I sighed again and felt my breath hitch after, "I love Echo." I mumbled to myself.

When we arrived in Pickering, I was shaking. My vision was slightly blurred and the tiny scar on my wrist was barley noticeable. We got home, god I've missed saying that, and I knocked on the door.