Paradise [HIATUS]

chapter twenty-eight

- Shawn -

"Hey, uh." Echo smiled at me. The airport was packed, but everything seemed quiet and empty when she walked over to me. "I didn't think you would come."

"Well, I guess you were wrong." She pressed her lips to mine, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Our little secret?" She whispered, her eyes wandering mine.

"Sure, our little secret."

- Echo -

"Echo! Pare! Vocês não estão destinados a ficar juntos!" Aaliyah said, looking up at me.

"Mas nós precisamos um do outro. Duas pessoas quebradas, estamos felizes. Isso é tudo que importa, Aaliyah."

"Eu suponho que sim."

"Let's leave the Portuguese fighting for one day, ok?" I say. I hear her mumble something under her breath as I leave, which sounded a bit like 'fine'. I wander into the kitchen to see Elizabeth, Tyler and Shawn all huddling around the table, muttering stuff between them.

"Hey guys, watcha doing?"

They looked up, Shawn looked me directly in the eyes, before standing up, "Uh, nothing."

"Ya sure?"

"Yeah, I am."

He smiled, damn, that smile. Elizabeth talked to Tyler in Portuguese for a few minutes, we laughed every now and then at the things that they were saying. "I miss having tiny children around..." Shawn trailed off, scrolling through his phone. "Sabrina ainda me odeia." he whispred it, so quietly I could on make out what he was saying through the movement of his lips.

"Well, uh. You know before I left when 'it' happened..."

He looked up and his eyes held a happiness so pure that I thought he would explode, "Echo, really?"

"Yes, nobody knows apart from the people standing in this room,"

He flung his arms around me, squeezing me so tight that breath began to escape my lungs rapidly, after a few seconds he loosened his grip, tears in his eyes. "Darling, wow."

"It's a boy, I found out before I came here. I went to England and spoke to your Aunt about it, she said to do it over there."

"Can I name him this time?"

I nodded, "Yeah, just not Max!"

"Why? It's a nice name!"

I laughed, "To you."

Aaliyah shook her head, "You had that glow about you since the day you came in, I could tell, Echo."

"He's called Emile then,"

"Emile it is."

-

The question raged inside my head, the headache tearing me apart. My sexuality has torn me apart for years now, I believe I'm straight but I don't know anymore. I don't give a fuck about genders, do they matter? Am I Pansexual? I don't know.

I pull my ukulele from the corner of the room, I left it here before I left. Me and Sabrina sound the exact same, apart from the fact that she can't do falsetto when I can, it's what I pride myself on.

I was brought up in a line but I seem to walk in circles.
It's getting hard to navigate when every map was never made for me.
I thought it would feel good
To understand why I was different.
But my just talks over me, I never even asked to be this way.

But to say that I'm a rainbow
To tell me that I'm bright.
When I'm so used to feeling wrong,
Well, it makes me feel alright.

I didn't think it fair
I was not to be trusted
How can I be proud of
what a million people shout at me I'm not

So please step inside my soul,
I'd love to watch you gasp,
You'd understand in minutes,
And I'd like to think you'd miss it
Cause so would I

But to say that I'm a rainbow
To tell me that I'm bright.
When I'm so used to feeling wrong,
Well, it makes me feel alright.

I place the ukulele back and sit down, tears leaving my eyes.