Broken Strings (18+)

05

I mentally slapped myself and snapped out of my trance. “H-how?” Did I really want to hear the answer? I don’t know. Maybe.

“We weren’t ready then,” he replied, not really answering my question. “It was my first year in grad school when Anj told me she’s been missing her period for three months. We were active, and so we really thought she was pregnant. It was also her first year as a teacher. We were just starting our lives, and I don’t know if it’s wrong, but we actually felt relieved when the test result came out negative.” What Sebastian said was too much for my head to take. It started to hurt like hell. I yanked a fistful of my hair, as if that would ease the pain.

I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say.

“I decided that from then on, Anj and I would abstain… you know, wait until marriage. I just didn’t want to rely on birth control or anything of that sort—”

“You haven’t done it for six years?!” I just couldn’t hide my amazement.

He nodded slowly. “Wait until marriage. Hah. Fuck those words.” His voice was full of disgust. I winced upon hearing him. When I looked back at him, it appeared that he’d just downed another can of beer. Oh my God! Sebastian’s turning into a mess just because of that bitch.

I was becoming irritated. I couldn’t help but ask, “Why didn’t you marry then?”

He let out a wry laugh. He was nothing like the Sebastian I’ve known all my life. “We’ve been together for twelve years, and you think that never occurred to me? I proposed to her! Too many times! But every fucking time, I’d only get rejected. Rain, we’re too young. Rain, we’re not ready yet. Rain, let’s focus on our career first. Anj always had an excuse not to marry me.” Fresh tears ran down his face. I felt as if my chest had been stabbed over and over again. Yes, Evangeline hurt him. But I was the one who made him relive the pain. I deserved a bitch slap, didn’t I?

“Sebastian…” I reached for his hands. They were so cold and trembling. I squeezed them to reassure him that everything’s going to be alright, even though I wasn’t sure myself. When did it ever become alright for a brokenhearted man?

“Was it t-that hard to say ‘yes’? To m-marry me? B-be my wife?” He was sobbing nonstop. Shit, shit, shit. If I ever see the bitch’s face, I swear I’m going to make her pay for doing this to Sebastian.

I cupped his face and tried to calm him down. “Shh, don’t say that…”

“Was I not f-fit to be a husband? Was—” I couldn’t take it anymore. It was so painful to hear those words coming from Sebastian. I didn’t know what came over me. I slammed my lips into his.

It was the perfect trick. Sebastian’s eyes grew wide. He stopped talking. He stopped crying. Maybe it was just my imagination, but he even stopped breathing.

Then I felt his hands over mine. He was about to take them away from his face. I panicked. I couldn’t stand seeing him again in such a wrecked state. I had to do something.

I brushed my lips against his. Slowly, his eyes closed, and my eyes did too. He started moving his lips, and that sent shivers down my spine. He guided my hands to his nape, as I sat on his lap. His fingers interlaced with some tendrils of my hair, pulling my face closer to his.

He licked my lower lip; I couldn’t help but moan. His warm tongue gradually slipped inside my mouth – taunting mine. I gladly responded. I tasted every inch of his tongue. He tasted… bittersweet. And I couldn’t get enough of him. My hands crawled up, my fingers getting lost in his hair. A guttural groan escaped his lips, sending delicious vibrations inside me.