(a page dedicated to those lilac feelings)
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yet another mental breakdown caused by my fucked mentality beyond just a state of confusion you've caused a state of panic unsure of what it is I've done wrong what i have messed up this time walking past you felt like a gunshot it felt like losing a friend
it was exactly like losing a friend
and now im scared
have I?
have I lost a friend?
or were we never really friends at all
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these feelings you give me, I don't understand
they make me feel lilac
to look in your eyes, to emerge in the sounds
protrude from your soul
the coolness of purple, I see it in you
sending me shivers
the emotion you hold, let us open their eyes
free of the hollow
your voice is so soft, but there is something lacking
proper attraction
it scares me to think of why this happens
a violet problem
,,
sorry for bothering you with my existence
,,
haiku,,
it's hardly past nine
and you are already gone
i'm lost and confused
this doesn't make sense
yet it is perfectly clear
simply delusion
,,
It scares me that i like you
It scares me that you know
Im starting to feel vulnerable
Im starting to feel cold
I hardly even know you
Its hard to understand
Every time i send a message
It's as if you should have fled
Just leave me in your dust trail
Leave broken glass behind
Just please don't stick around
If you want to run and hide
,,
Ive written this so many times, my hands are getting tired. But maybe if i get it right, these thoughts they may unwind. That this is but a hopeless cause, no one does understand. And everytime i think too hard, im back beneath the sand. No direction of the ocean, the birds shall bite the worm, I must continue to remind myself, this this could never work.
.......
what once was shades of purple, slowly fades to shades of blue
but when i take a look back i realise, that was all it ever was
purple is a state of mind, with some poetic license
blue is yet another bowl of confusion
the sad and the unknown
....
i pushed you away as to not hurt you
but now im scared that you hate me
tho more likely case is you dont care
and maybe thats how it should be
that way one less person gets hurt
when i am to leave this world
....
wow... that hurt :((
YOU ARE READING
broken pieces
Poetrya book of poems // individual shards of glass that attempt to piece together my broken soul // TRIGGER WARNING : will probably mention suicide, self-harm, sexual assult, rape, etc. // not all are personal experiences but some are
