Sanders Sides Songs Story

Grenade

Roman could no longer handle the feeling he got when he looked at Logan, the way any small smile from the man would make Roman beam until his face hurt. So, he made up his mind – he was going to ask Logan out.

~~~~~~

In hindsight, it should have worried him that instead of returning his blinding hopeful smile, Logan simply thought, expressionless, for a second before nodding and saying "Yes, I am willing to enter a romantic relationship with you."

During the first week, Roman got caught up in a moment of excitement and essentially swept Logan up, then proceeding to kiss him. He noticed that Logic's actions were a bit... off, but he thought nothing of it at the time.

During a video, the status of their relationship was revealed. Patton, of course, began to squeal. Roman, as usual, could not help but partake in his giddiness, thus creating a feedback loop of positivity that was probably the cause of Virgil's considerably negative shift in mood. Logan's usual look of observing the situation did not change.

They decided to cut that bit out of the video. Logan believed it was an unnecessary and confusing concept, and Roman agreed (though not with his usual vigor). Patton just didn't want to ruin all the cute stuff people put online involving "ships" by taking away some of the possibilities. Virgil didn't say why he agreed.

~~~~~~

"Roman, that idea is just delusional, honestly. Can you not think of a realistic way to secure a date for Thomas? Romance does not need to include murder." Logan was berating Roman for his "ridiculous ideas" posed during the video they had just finished filming.

"Logan, it is my job to think of ridiculous ideas! I am Thomas' Creativity! What do you expect from me?"

"It is my 'job' to be sure that your ideas are made realistic for Thomas to use, so I wouldn't think that what I am doing is particularly out of line either!"

"For Thomas!" Roman exclaimed, tears threatening to fall.

Logan appeared confused at the sentence fragment. "Pardon?"

"You have to make the ideas realistic for Thomas. You don't have to tear me down to my face," Roman clarified softly.

If it had been anyone else that Roman was talking to, the soft voice from the usually exuberant trait would have been immediate cause for comforting words. Logan did not attempt to comfort his boyfriend.

"It is more efficient to tell you directly, as it should prevent such ideas from getting so preposterously out of hand in the future." Logan walked out of Roman's room, feeling uncomfortable with Roman's obvious dejectedness.

~~~~~~

"He does what?" Roman asked, the mere idea of what Virgil had said seeming entirely imperceivable.

"Yea man, every time. I've never seen him kiss you with his eyes closed. It's kinda creepy, honestly." Roman blinked, swallowed, and slowly turned back to the television. He blinked again, then pressed the play button and continued to watch The Office bloopers for the 17th full time.

~~~~~~

"Do you even care?" Roman gritted out.

"What?" Logan seemed taken aback by the question.

"We're dating, do you even care about my feelings? Do you even lo– like me?"

"I'm really not sure what you're asking me, Roman." And Roman snapped.

Easy come, easy go, that's just you live

"You don't care about anyone's feelings! Everything has a logical solution, so who cares if someone is feeling bad?"

"Ro—"

Take, take, take it all but you never give

"You said you would go out with me, do you feel anything for me? Or is this just some experiment to you?"

Should've known you was trouble from the first kiss, had your eyes wide open

"Virgil told me you don't even close your eyes when we kiss. Do you feel anything at all? Do you have any clue how creepy it is to do that? That is the biggest sign that you don't care about someone, Logan!"

Why were they open

"I doubt that that is accurate, I—"

Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash, you tossed it in the trash you did

"I give everything to you, I try so hard not to be hurt when you shoot down all of my ideas, and you just keep doing it, no matter how hard I try to change!"

To give me all your love is all I ever asked, 'cause...

"All I wanted was a relationship, Logan! If you didn't want that, you could have just said no!"

What you don't understand is...

"Exactly. If I had not wanted to be in this relationship, I would not have accepted your offer."

"You don't get it, do you?" Logan looked at Roman confusedly – clearly, he did not.

I'd catch a grenade for you
Throw my head on a blade for you
I'd jump in front of a train for you
You know I'd do anything for you

"I would do anything for you, Logan. I love you, and I would do anything for you."

"Surely that is an overstatement—"

I would go through all this pain

"It's not."

Take a bullet straight through my brain

"It is illogical to assume that in any given situation, you would do anything for my benefit over your own."

Yes, I would die for you baby...

"I'm not very logical, Logan. That's sort of your thing."

But you won't do the same

"Roman, I'm beginning to believe some of the delusions you have concern me and are unhealthy."

"And I'm beginning to believe that you weren't the best choice of people to have an emotionally invested relationship with," Roman replied, laughing a little through the finally falling tears that he had held back during an entire one-year-long relationship.

Logan nodded, concluding the conversation, "In that case, it would be the most logical choice to terminate our romantic relationship," with a small chuckle of his own. He walked out of the commons.

You'll never do the same.

It killed Roman, broke his heart, and made the area where hope once resided feel empty, that that laugh still gave him butterflies.