Your Eyes Will Lead Me Home {L.S}

nine

Anne slept in the spare room and Harry slept on the futon in the playroom, like usual. The kids were all sound asleep and Jay had just finished putting the presents out and gone to bed herself. Louis lay awake in his childhood bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of those green eyes and long brown curls.

Harry was always beautiful but he'd truly blossomed in the last three years. And then he remembered Lottie's words; "he's gay". They rung through his head like church bells; echoing and sending him into a slow insanity. He'd had enough, it was now or never.

He slipped out of his bed, and walked down to the girls' playroom; he took a deep breath and knocked on the door. It didn't take very long for Harry to open it. He stood there with no shirt on, tattoos splayed out on his muscular stomach and chest, Louis' breath hitched as he tried to raise his eyes up to Harrys.

The younger boy didn't say a word; he just left the door open and walked back into the room, picking up his shirt from the floor. Louis wasn't sure if he was allowed in or not, but he followed after Harry anyway. The two both sat on the newly made futon, neither sure of what to say.

And then it all came back to harry, which made him wonder; why was Louis even here right now? "Well?" He asked, trying not to sound too aggressive. Louis looked up at Harry, whose eyebrows were furrowed. Louis sighed, of course harry was still mad at him, and he had every right to be. He just hopes he'll still hear him out.

"Harry..." Louis began, and Harry's body tingled at the sound of his name rolling off Louis's tongue. He bit his inner cheek and swallowed, "Why are you here? What do you want?" He spoke much softer; anger fading away and being replaced by a heavy heart.

"Harry, first of all, I want to apologise. I've done many things in the past that I'd like to take back. But there's nothing I regret more than what I did to you." Louis was staring desperately at Harry's face, but the younger boy was still looking at the ground.

So Louis sighed, deciding to continue; because whether Harry forgave him or not, he needed to hear this. "Harry. That day we met in the park, I thought you were so cute. And then we found out our mums are friends, and I felt so happy that I'd be able to see you again." Louis paused to check if harry was listening, and the way he was twiddling his thumbs suggested he was.

"And things were great, you were in middle school, and I was in high school, we hung out every afternoon, had sleepovers, it was great. And then you came to my school. And don't get me wrong, I loved having you there; I tried to come see at lunch, and say hello whenever we passed each other in the halls. But then my other friends started picking on me."

Louis took a breath and harry looked up at him for a single second, he how Louis' hands shook, ever so slightly. Harry didn't understand why he was so nervous, or where he was going with this, but he himself had nothing to say so he may as well listen.

"Every time I left them to go see you, they'd bug me about 'my little boyfriend' when I got back. They were relentless little fuckers, who must have gossiped about me. Because another guy in my year, the school bully, thought it'd be nice to 'teach me what fags deserve'." Louis' breath hitched at the memory, going home to his mother and young sisters, having to say the bruises over his body was from a rough game of tackle rugby.

Louis took a moment to fight back the tears threatening to spill, and Harry bit his lip. He had no idea any of this happened to Louis, and he wonders why he never told him? "Anyway... The night you came over to stay, I'd had a particularly bad day, and I was angry and said things I didn't mean." Harry looked up at Louis once more, they made eye contact and harry snapped his head to look back at the ground.

"I let my friends get inside my head and make me think that being gay was the worst thing in the world. And I believed them; until I went to university. That's where I found out, not everyone in the world is homophobic. At Uni, everyone just accepts who everyone is." Louis glanced at Harry, and realised he hasn't taken the hint yet, he'd have to brave and just say it.

"Harry. The thing is, my friends weren't actually wrong. I loved you Harry, as more than a friend. And seeing the way my own friends reacted to that, I thought no one would accept me. And that scared the hell out of me. But being around you, with those thoughts and feelings was too hard, so I shut you out-"

While Louis was having his rant, Harry froze; he looked up at the older boy, his words stuck on repeat in his head; 'I loved you harry, as more than a friend'. He couldn't believe it. All this time he loved Louis and thought he hated him; but he felt the same way.

"-and I know that's no excuse. And I know I really hurt you. And that's something I have to live with for the rest of my life. Knowing how much I hurt you because I was so selfish. And I don't expect your forgiveness; I just needed to tell you the truth." Louis finally looked up at Harry, who was already staring at him, mouth agape.

They locked their gaze; searching deep into the others eyes, wondering what the other was thinking. "H-harry, please say something" Louis asked, becoming insecure. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe harry truly hates him after what he did.

Louis' thoughts were cut off when Harry threw his arms around him. He was surprised to say the least, though he wrapped his arms around harry and smiled into his shoulder. He'd dreamt of this moment for so long, it was everything he'd hoped it would be.