This Was My Life

No, Dave

Okay so I know this took for fucking ever but here it is. I'll try to update a bit more regularly now, but I'm sure something will happen where I'll forget about this A G A I N. Anyway, I hope this is worth the wait (spoiler: it's probably not).

Junior

"I don't care about that, Junior. I care about you." He what? This was coming from Dave? "Uh, you do?" He lifted his weight off of me a bit and leaned back against the dashboard. "Of course I do. You're my best friend. I don't care if this is weird, I just... love you, man." Okay, Dave just said he loved me. Yeah. "I uh, I love you too, I guess. But like, not as a frie-" "I know. We wouldn't be here like this now if you loved me as a friend only, right?" Shit. That's a good point. "Yeah." He pushed himself forward onto me again and rested his forehead against mine. "So don't be worried, okay?" Easier said than done, but sure. I'm not sure how long we stayed like this. It felt like over an hour, but I'm sure it was less. I looked up at Dave and realized that his eyes were closed. His breathing was slow and heavy, and when I whispered his name he didn't respond. "Dave." Nothing. "Dave!" After a couple shoves in the chest he seemed to wake up. "What?" "You fell asleep." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Oh. Think we should go?" It was already dark outside and sidewalk next to us was crowded with people. "Probably." He crawled over to the driver's seat and started the car. The alcohol hadn't worn off yet but it didn't seem like that was stopping Dave. "You hungry?" Shit, I didn't even realize all I had was that disgusting sandwich and a burger. "Like fucking hell." "Taco shop?" God, that sounded amazing. I nodded my head and smiled. "Yes, please." Dave does this weird thing whenever he gets excited for something, this little fidgety twitch of the lips. Which he just did. "Anything for you, sweetheart." I know he meant it jokingly, but I couldn't help but blush when he said it. "Aw, Junior." I must've been grinning like a madman now. "What else can I say that'll make you do that? Babe? Honey? Oh, I know. Gorgeous?" I turned my head away from him and bit the inside of my cheeks trying not to smile too much. It was going to be the longest five minute drive ever, apparently.

Dave

We sat in the dark parking lot of the taco shop, eating our burritos in silence, until I couldn't stand it any longer. "Junior?" It came out as more of a command than a question, and I instantly regretted it. "Yeah." I hope I didn't scare him off with this now. "So, like, how long have you, you know." Fuck! It wasn't supposed to come out like that. "I don't know." Didn't know what I meant or didn't know how long? It was too awkward to ask that now, though. "What?" "What?" Junior laughed at the confusion. "What do you me- oh. Like how long I've, uh, you know." "Uh huh." He waited a long while before answering. "Like, four months or something. I dunno." Shit. I would've never thought that long. "Oh." I wasn't quite sure what to really say after that. The conversation had obviously taken an uncomfortable turn for him and I didn't want to prod. We sat for a while longer without saying anything, until I felt good enough to rest my hand on his thigh. He twitched a bit but didn't seem to make any effort to stop me until I leaned over to kiss him and my hand slid between his legs. That's when he almost jumped up from his seat and pushed me away. "No, Dave." I should've known he'd freak out. He moved himself as close to the door as he could and looked down at his feet. "Sorry." No response. Then after a few minutes- "I want to go home, Dave." I couldn't do this. Not now, when we were getting so close to being something. I had to make him see that there was so much more in our relationship than kissing each other. I had to make him see how much I really cared for him. In hindsight, what I wanted to do was certainly not the best way to show him how much I cared. But of course, I didn't think of that then. "No, you don't. You want to stay here with me, right?" He shook his head and even though I didn't think it was possible, pressed himself up against the door even more. "Dave, no. I want to go home." No, he doesn't, I thought. How could he, anyway? We played this game for a good ten minutes at least. "I wanna go home, Dave." "No!" The alcohol was getting to us and instead of the brawl that would ensue had we not been heavily intoxicated, we both slumped into our seats and fell asleep.