Alternate ending of allegiant

Chapter 54

Chapter 54-TOBIAS

I'm in a daze. I haven't slept, but I don't feel tired. I try to keep busy, keep the company of others, and am crippled by loneliness when I leave them. I feel like I have lost everything. I watch everyone else recover from the memory serum that altered them permanently.Those that are lost are gathered into groups and given the truth: that human nature is complex, that all our genes are different, but neither damaged nor pure, and Tris is a hero.They were also given a lie: that their memories were erased because of a freak accident, and that they were on the verge of lobbying the government for equality for GD's.
My hands shake as I stop by the control room to watch the city on the screens. Johanna is arranging transportation for those who want to leave the city. They will come here to learn the truth. I don't know what will happen to those who remain in Chicago, and I'm not sure I care. I shove my hands into my pockets and watch for a few minutes, then walk away again, trying to match my footsteps to my heartbeat, or to avoid the cracks between the tiles.When I walk past the entrance I see a small group of people gathered by the stone sculpture, one of them in a wheelchair-Nita.
I was there for some of Uriah's last breaths. Christina found me to let me know that they were unplugging him.
We go to the observation window, my body aching with each step. Evelyn is there -Amar picked her up in my stead, a few days ago. She tries to touch my shoulder and I yank it away, not wanting to be comforted. I don't deserve it.
Inside the room, Zeke and Hana stand on either side, holding his hands. I notice a doctor standing near the heart rate monitor, extending a clipboard not to Hana or Zeke but to David. Sitting in his wheelchair. Hunched and dazed, like all the others who have lost their memories.
"What is he doing here?" I feel like all my muscles and bones and nerves are on fire.
"He's still technically the leader of the Bureau, at least until they replace him," Cara says from behind me."Tobias, he doesn't remember anything.The man you knew doesn't exist anymore; he's as good as dead.That man doesn't remember shooting-"
"Shut up!" I snap. David signs the clipboard and turns around, pushing himself through the door. It opens and I can't stop myself-I lunge toward him, and only Evelyn's wiry frame stops me from wrapping my hands around his throat. He gives me a strange look and pushes himself down the hallway as I press
against my mother's arm, which feels like a bar across my shoulders.
"Tobias," Evelyn says."Calm down."
"Why didn't someone lock him up?" I demand, my eyes to blurry to see out of. "Because he still works for the government," Cara says."Just because they've declared it an unfortunate accident doesn't mean they've fired everyone.And the government isn't going to lock him up just because he shot a rebel under duress." "A rebel," I repeat."That's all she is now?" "Of course not," Cara says softly."She's a hero now, but as far as everyone is concerned now, it was an accident. Confusion. It was chaos around here. No one knew who the good guys were."
I'm about to respond, but Christina interrupts, "Guys, they're doing it."
In Uriah's room, Zeke and Hana join their free hands over Uriah's body. I see Hana's lips moving, but I can't tell what she's saying-do the Dauntless have prayers for the dying? The Abnegation react to death with silence and service, not words. I find my anger ebbing away, and I'm lost in muffled grief again, this time not just for Tris, but for Uriah, whose smile is burned into my memory. My friend's brother, and then my friends too, though not for long enough to let his humor work its way into me, not for long enough.
The doctor flips some switches, his clipboard clutched to his stomach, and the machines stop breathing for Uriah. Zeke's shoulders shake, and Hana squeezes his hand tightly, until her knuckles go white.
Then she says something, and her hands spring open, and she steps back from Uriah's body. Letting him go.
I move away from the window, walking at first, and then running, pushing my way through the hallways, careless, blind, empty.