Why I hate religion but love God

Questions!

Okay, so I had a very good comment on this story and would like to answer all your questions lizetticonfetti. The comment left was:

"Like 18th century Europe, I've had a long history with religion, have been a Christian all my life. But upon studying European history, I've learned I have value, potential, a thinking mind-that I can think for myself-concepts which religion never taught me. And I began to grow a love for philosophy and science. I like the optimistic possibilities philosophy brings, and I the tangible results and explanation of science. But I'm starting to see that most Christians I've encountered view science as an evil virus of Satan lol. And this has caused me to question the existence of God quit a bit-or rather how we view him (or her idk). While I do have my doubts, some atheists might wonder why I still believe in a higher deity. I myself don't even know; it's something been engraved in my head. I do find some comfort in believing a god exist, but I also see many problems with it. I've also seen atheists try to disprove religion using trivial things like, "the Bible states rabbits have more than one stomach" like, okay I guess, where does that get us? I'm more concerned with morals than I am with rabbits. But I also wonder: does God say stuff because it's good? Or is it good because God said it? Does god even exist? Why would he let science even bring the doubt of his existence? I would like hear your thoughts, what are your views on science? God? Do you every doubt his existence? How do you benefit from believing? Is faith even good? What does it do, practically? What's your comfort? How do you deal with these two contradicting concepts?"

Okay, first I want to make it clear that this is my personal opinion, I'm not saying any of this is 100% the right way to think, it's just the way I do.

I was never raised in a Christian home, my parents have always left the option up to me as to whether or not I wanted to believe in God and if I so chose to what God. I am a Christian, but my parents also raised me to believe that I have all the things you stated that religion never taught you,and I can't agree more, religion never gives people the impression that they have a mind of their own. I don't think science is a horrible thing, I think god have is science for a reason. About the "does God say stuff because it's good? or is it good because God said it?" I feel like maybe it's a little bit of both, I mean there are things he said that were just good, like "love thy neighbor as thy self" that's good, not because God said it, it just is. But there where also things he did/said that maybe they are only good because God said it, like when he flooded the Earth, or... Almost anything that happened in the old testament actually...I do believe in God, obviously if I wouldn't have written this in the first place. I think he let science bring the doubt because he wanted willing love and if that's the only thing there is it's more of a forced love than a willing. I feel like without other options people would believe but it wouldn't be of their own free will. I believe it is possible to believe in a god and science, to an extent. Let me explain, the big bang theory for example, I'm not saying it didn't happen, but I don't think it was a random thing that happened, there was a one in like 20,000,000,000,000 (or something close to that, I can't remember the exact number) chance that the Earth would be placed close enough to the sun to keep it warm but far enough away to keep it from burning, and we have all the necessary things we need to live that most places don't have (like oxygen, or the minerals ECT). I would be lying if I tried to tell you that I have never doubted his existence. I have on multiple occasions, it's not always the easiest thing to believe in something you can't see but I have amazing church leaders that never give up on me and help me find my way when things get difficult. I think that believing in God gives me do much strength that I would have otherwise, I know that sounds like a typical Christian answer but it's true, I've struggled with depression and it get really hard sometimes but I don't think I'd be having the opportunity to share this if it weren't for some kind of higher power keeping me strong. I think faith is amazing. Without faith there is no way you could believe in something you can't see. I mean, you can't see oxygen, but you have faith it's there, and you feel the affects of it everyday, that's how I feel with God. My comfort is in God. When I'm upset, if just ready to give up, it angry, that's where I go because I believe God can get me through it. As for dealing with the contradicting concepts (assuming you mean religion v science) I don't, I believe both of them play a major role in my life. People can tell me that I can only choose one, but I do believe in both.

Thank you so much for your comment and please, if anyone had anymore questions ask, I may not be able to give you more than my opinion but I am happy to do all I can.