Her Story

Chapter Three: Nightmares

Her Story

Chapter Three: Nightmares

                                                          January 23rd, 2014

    The sun was shining brightly as I stood in front of my window, staring out across the street at the empty, beautiful house. It was elegant and breath-taking with the way it was so old, but yet held such beauty. Vines swirled up the columns as well as they were growing up the side of the house. It was a brick house, not big, but not small. It was about two stories high with a large yard in front of it and a small fountain that was dirty stood in the center.

    I tore my eyes from it, moving to sit onto my bed. It’s been a week since my ‘chat’ with Dr. Bowen, and for some reason, I feel different, like... I don’t know. Maybe I should have told someone what I was feeling a long time ago, but like I said, it’s not going to help, no matter how much different I feel. The facts and the reality of what happened will still be there.

   I took a deep breath, examining my room. The light purple walls that were once filled with posters, pictures, stickers, everything and anything, was now bare, fore I had torn them all down in rage. The white computer desk that sat in the corner with my broken laptop on it was abandoned and had papers scattered atop it. The large TV hanging from the middle of one wall in front of my bed, hasn’t been turned on in months, because I went ahead and jerked all the cords out. The large walk-in closet that used to have all my clothes hanging up and my shoes on a rack, was now flooded with rags; I had tore them, all down, shredded some shirts, and threw shoes. You can’t even see the dark blue carpet now, because my clothes and shoes covered it. The built in bathroom was a mess. The mirror was cracked fore I had thrown multiple items at it, because I couldn’t stand to pass by and look at myself; I was filled with disgust. My shampoo and conditioner were lying abandoned in the large tub in the corner, along with my toothbrush. I have no idea how my toothbrush ended up in the bathtub, but it did. I had taken off the bright blue toilet seat cover and had crammed it into the toilet, I’m ashamed, yes, but I was angry at the world... I had no idea as to what I was doing. The pictures that I had thrown at my wall, my mom had put up and cleaned up the glass and broken frames. As for the hole in the wall, it was still there, reminding me of my foolish state.

    I sighed heavily. My life was great before that night happened, before my birthday happened. I was Valedictorian, I had a sure chance to get accepted by Harvard, with a scholarship I didn’t even need, I had a guy that I liked and I’m pretty sure he liked me back, my parents weren’t hovering over me all the time to make sure I didn’t off myself , I had friends, loving and caring friends.. I had it all. I had the grades, the support, the love... And now... What do I have? Sure, I have love and support, but... I have no future. I haven’t been to school in four months, I’m going to end up having to repeat my senior year, and… now I have to go to some therapist… who probably thinks I’m mentally insane and will end up sending me to some nut house where I will then, rot away, sort of like I am now.

    My life has done a complete 360, and… it’s hard because I have no idea on how to continue through life without the pain, the nightmares, and the fear of it happening again. I can’t bear it. I can’t continue on through life without closure, and I fear I will never have closure... at least not until that bastard is found and convicted for what he has done.

    I don’t think I will be able to move on, to move past this.

    Lying down, I felt my body began to tremble as my eyes slowly closed and sleep over took me.

    -.-.-.-.-.-.-

    “You’re useless, this deservers to happen to you.” His deep voice hissed as he pressed the knife further into the side of my neck. A whimper escaped my lips and he smiled wickedly through the pole light shining on him.

    He laughed loudly, fixing the hood on his head as he straddled my rib cage.”You knew this would happen sooner or later, didn’t you? You knew I would get back at you, and you knew just how. It’s not like you don’t want this.” He tried to whisper the last part seductively, causing me to genuinely gag. He acts and talks as if I know him, as if he knows me. No matter how hard I try neither his voice nor his face rings any bell to me.

    “Don’t. Please.” I cried.

    “Sh-shut up!” He screamed, pressing harder on the knife. “You’re getting what you deserve!” And that was when I felt the piercing pain on my neck and he smiled sheepishly at me, “Oops.” He shrugged. My eyes went wide before I closed them tight and began to cry harder. He removed the knife and slid it down softly and gently on my cheek, making me press myself further into the ground if possible. “Shh. It’ll be over before you know it... But, by then, you’ll be begging for more.”

    My eyes popped open as my body sprung from the bed, sweat coating me and my eyes crusted together. My hand flew to my forehead, swiping at it, my palm resting there before shoving my hair back and knocking the covers from me.

    It was just a dream, Ella, it was only a dream. I reminded myself.

    My conscious scoffed, Yeah... a dream alright... It was just a nightmare.

    Silence surrounded me, other than the panting of my breathing. Gosh, Ella. Calm down.. It wasn’t real.

    The silence was broke as my door banged open and I startled. My parents came hurdling in, my mom just in a night gown and my dad in boxers with a baseball bat in his hands. I chuckled slightly before I found my face squished together in my mother’s hands as she looked over me.

    “Are you okay? We heard screaming.” She rushed out, her hand holding my chin and the other one going through my hair. I nodded as dad flicked on the light switch.

    “Yeah. It was just a dream.” I muttered. She sighed before taking the seat next to me.

    “Evan, go on to bed.” My mother told my dad, her hand rubbing up and down my back. “I’m going to stay the night here...” she looked at me, “If that’s okay with you, sweetheart?” I only nodded.

    “Okay, scream if you need me.” Dad moved to kiss moms cheek and my forehead. He smiled softly before closing the door and leaving.Mom patted my back twice before standing up, hauling me with her. I gave her a questioning look, but she just turned and began to throw my pillows off the bed.

    “Uh.. mom?”

    “I’m changing the bed sheets.. your sweat soaked into my butt.” She chuckled. I made a fake-amused noise and sat down on the window seat as she peeled my damp sheets off and escaped to my closet. I heard her gasp and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

    “What in the name of pineapples, happened in here?” She yelled out to me.

    “Tornado?” I called back. I heard her laugh before she came out with a purple fitted sheet and began to fix the bed. I stood up and began helping her and soon, we had the pillow slips changed, along with the bed sheets and comforter. I slid in as mom turned off the light and slid in next to me.

    “Do you wanna talk about it?” she asked, her hand pressing my head to lie on her chest. I shook my head and felt guilty when she sighed.

    “Ella, I know you don’t like to discuss what happened... but... I’m your mother... I worry about you.” She took a deep breath. “I sometimes think.. that if you don’t remove the lid on that bottle that’s holding your emotions.. you’ll lose it.” Her hand raked through my sweaty hair.

    “I know… mom, and I’m sorry.” I wrapped my arm around her waist.

    “Don’t be. Just.. just know what I’m here... if you ever want to talk.”

    “I know… but tonight, mom?” I looked up at her, sadly to see that she had tears in her eyes and one of the worst things in life that you could witness.. is seeing your mother cry. Tears sprung to my stinging eyes and I took a shaky breath.

    “Tonight.. Can you just hold me?” she studied my face before gathering me up in her arms and sniffling.

    “Always baby, always.” I felt her kiss my head and feeling her chest and shoulders shake, let me know that even though she was quiet...She was crying; and that was when I let the tears fall, and I just let my mother hold me.