Red Eyes {TreeBros}

Chapter 1, 11:46

11:46
Evan sat there, cold on top of the roof, alone. The roof gave Evan a feeling, when he was there. Standing above seven floors of countless different families, and individuals. Individuals from countless different countries, states, cities, countless different religions, countless different relationships, and sexual orientations, everyone had a story. Standing on top of all these differences, Evan got the feeling of importance, like his story was his, and it was worth telling. He got the feeling of love, though not connected to him, but to each other, so much love was spread in the apartment. And he got the feeling of safety, everyone was tied to someone, though Evan had no ties in the apartment, he could feel everyone else's, their safety generates from them.

There were bad feelings, plenty. Hopelessness, suicide, depression,
Less bad, but still bad:
Homesickness, stress, self hatred,
He could feel it, like it was attacking him for "taking" the good feelings and leaving them behind. From the first moment he felt these, his anxiety sprouted. He can't talk to anyone, he fears he'll take their good feelings and leave only the bad, so when he does talk to people, he tries to take their bad feelings, and leave the good. It's hard, even for him. So he avoids it completely.
From plants, he gets the feeling of acceptance, and wanting. They can't reject him, they need him to survive.
From animals, he gets the feeling of warmth and love. They'll be there when he's doubting himself or sad.
So he talks to those. They can't judge him. He can't take their good feeling. It's infinite, like the roof.

11:52
The feelings are ripped from Evans grasp, when a door opens, a tall boy, dressed all in dark grays, his hair was dyed brown and his orange roots were clearly visible. He had freckles plastered all over his face, dulled by concealer, but still visible.
Lastly, he had bright red, teary eyes.

Evan generated many strong feelings from this boy. He flipped through them like files in a file cabinet. There was self hatred, hatred towards an unknown person, surprise , a strong feeling of anger, depression, hunger, and the strongest of all, suicide. It wasn't anything new, Evan found, he seems to have had these feelings for years.

Getting these feelings from this boy, Evan now felt unworthy of the good feelings the roof willingly gave to him. Like he deserved to feel this, after ignoring the bad feelings.

"IM NOT A MONSTER!" He yelled. The boys bright red eyes met Evans green blue ones, the eye contact terrifying Evan
"I-i didn't say tha-"
"You thought it. I know you did." The boy said, with anger and confidence, despite the tears streaming down his face, clearing the concealer off.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't, I'm sorry i" Evan said, breaking the eye contact, to look at the ground. Evan started shaking, terrified of the sudden encounter.
"why are you scared of me? IM NOT A MONSTER. IM A NORMAL PERSON." The boy implored, moving towards Evan, and pushing him to the ground.

11:55
The boy kept his angry confident act on, until he broke. The tears were streaming down his face, and wouldn't stop. Evan got up. "I'm sor- I'm sorry"
"Why are you apologizing. I'm the fucked up one."
"I. I'm Evan. Sor-. I'm Evan."
"Connor."
"So um. Are are your eyes like um"
"I'm a human. IM NOT AN ANIMAL."
Evan stepped back in fear
"Right. I forgot. All people are the same. They get scared like they would when a dog attacks them. I'm not an animal."
"No it's not you, it, it's" Evan said defensively.
"You were scared. Don't worry, I'm used to it... tell me about you, pretty boy."
Evan blushed. "Well, uh, um, I uh i have social anxiety, um wait that was stupid. Um I really like trees, ugh wait I I hate myself, uh I'm Evan um Hansen, I uh work at the park? I fell out of a tree in high school?" Evan messed with his clammy hands, about to cry from embarrassment.
"Well Hansen, you might've gotten the worse end of whole anxiety deal, but just sayin, your cute, pretty boy.
I'm Conner Murphy. I'm gay, depressed, I live with my sister, she helps me reinvent my self, because she's the only one who understands and agrees that I'm horrible and ugly."
"You-you're not ugly or horrible"

11:59
The two boys were cut short when they heard just about every person in the apartment shout passionately
5
4
3
2-
Their eyes met.

12:00
1.
Their lips touched.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Evan felt importance love and safety that he felt 15 minutes ago from the roof. But this time, it was from Connor. He was finally tied. He had a tie to bring him importance. Love. Safety.

He felt the hugs, kisses and love shared under his feet, down to the first floor. He felt the anticipation and excitement. But one feeling, it was small, but it stood out the most. Maybe, because it doesn't belong. It doesn't fit in in where it currently exists. It doesn't match and it's never been felt for a long time, it seems. Maybe because, it was worth. There was now a small feeling of worth in the mix of emotions. This feeling of worth, now exists in Connor.
"Wow." Said Connor, smiling a bit.
"You're a good kisser, pretty boy. First kiss?" He proceeded with a smirk.
"Um uh y-yes??!" Evan blushed.
"I won't forget you. Pretty boy, Evan Hansen. I'll see you next year?"

"Sure"

The promise lasted 365 days. A question determines the answer, the answer determines a promise.