Mula sa pagkakaupo ay tumayo si Persephone at dahan- dahang naglakad papalapit sa pintuan. Ilang araw na siyang nananatili sa madilim na kwartong iyon at dama niya na ang panghihina ng kanyang mga tuhod. Hindi niya nga lang matukoy kung dahil ba ito sa sobrang gutom o dahil sa kalungkutang nag- alis na sa kagustuhan niya para mabuhay.
Bumaha ang liwanag mula sa labas ng silid pagkatapos niyang buksan ang pinto. Her eyes ached because of the sudden welcome of light. Her eyes felt heavy and dry. Hindi dahil sa luha ngunit sa ilang gabing hindi pagtulog. The doctor said she was imsoniac. May ipinrescribe itong gamot but she was too preoccupied to care.
She went down the stairs. Ngunit kagaya ng sa itaas ay katahimikan pa rin ang bumungad sa kanya. Walang kahit ano. Walang kahit sino. If it was an ordinary day, she would already hear her Ate Penelope’s loud chatting. The kitchen would also be noisy with her mom’s busy cooking. She would also be complaining because her dad wouldn’t let her take charge of the TV remote. If it was an ordinary day, this house wouldn’t feel this vacant. She wouldn’t feel this hollow.
'With heavy steps she walked out of that house and walked nonstop until she reached a cliff. She used to go here often with Penelope to look at the breathtaking view. But now that her family’s gone, she just couldn’t feel the magic it used to make her feel before.
The almost setting sun had washed everything in vivid colors. She didn’t know exactly what time it is but the sun was enough to tell her that the daylight was already fast approaching its end. Exactly how she wanted to end everything here.
“Wala na sila. They’re gone, Persephone.” She could still recall what she felt when her Tita Mica told her that after waking up in a hospital. She could remember clearly how she felt that day. Maging sya ay nasurpresa sa kanyang sarili. Ni hindi man lang sya umiyak nang marinig ang sinabi ng kanyang tita. She had not shed even a single drop of tear. Para lamang syang nabingi dahil wala na syang narinig sa kanyang paligid. Ang tanging natatandaan niyang narinig niya ng mga panahong iyon ay ang tunog ng pagkabasag. She thought she might have gone really crazy because she could even hear her own heart breaking. Her chest ached with the voided pain. From there she realized, crying won’t even give justice to the pain she was feeling. She didn’t cry even during the wake of her family’s funeral.
The funeral chapel that time was filled with people who thought they can understand how she feels. People who’s been saying meaningless condolences and futile words saying they were sorry for her loss when they’re not. Gustong niyang sumigaw. Gusto niyang magwala. But she chose to remain passive. She wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing her cry.
Hindi mababago ng pag-iyak ang nararamdaman niya.
She regretted living.
That’s why she’s here.
She wanted to end it here. Every single day without them felt like a curse. Every single day after waking up she felt like she was being punished for surviving. All the people around her kept on telling her how lucky she was. And she wanted to shout at them for that. Para bang dapat niyang ipagpasalamat ang isang buhay na binigay sa kanya kahit na wala naman talagang itinira sa kanya. Wala kundi kalungkutan. Should she be thankful for a life she wouldn’t want to live at all? Should she continue breathing when she was this miserable?
Marahas niyang pinahid ang mga luhang tuloy- tuloy na tumutulo sa kanyang pisngi. Hindi niya na kaya ang sobrang kalungkutan. Hindi niya na kaya.
She wanted to see her family again. And she was aware what she needs to do for that to happen.
With shaky legs she brought herself to stand on the edge of the cliff. Sumasayaw ang kanyang suot na itim na bestida sa lakas ng ihip ng hangin. Sa gaan niya’y tila maaari rin syang tangayin nito. Nang sumulyap siya sa paanan niya, nakita niya kung gaano kataas ang kinaroroonan niya. She thought about what might happen to her if she falls down. Her head might crack open and who knows, nobody might recognize her after. But none of those thoughts will stop her.
BINABASA MO ANG
Soul Keepers: She Who Seeks Death
Fantasy"What-- What is this? What does this suppose to mean?" "They're black strings, honey. Bulag ka na din ba?" "You know that's not what I meant!" "They're the threads of death. Those who were planned to die have those." "T- They're going to die?" "Na...
