Later as i sit on my bed i replay the events from the day in my head. I hate thinking of school because in the eyes of my family im a failure at that. Im so tense and worked up, theres only one thing that will quickly fix it. I pull down my pants and run the cold metal across my thigh. “Why cant i be good enough?” ….”because you are worthless, im the only one who truly cares for you.” Ana’s answering my questions like usual. “You’re disgusting. People would like you better if you were skinny. Skinny is beautiful… dont you wanna be beautiful?” I answer that with an angry slash to my leg. I know she is right, im hideous,stupid, and most of all im a watse of air. The front door pulls me from my thoughts. I quickly wipe the blood away with a near by tissue and pull my pants up, concealing the disaster on my legs. The blade goes back in its home till next time. “Hey, mommy,” i greet her warmly. “Have you been crying?” shes worried like any mother would be. “yeah, i stubbed my toe when running up the stairs.” She bys the excuse, but who wouldnt? How is she supposed to know her “perfect” little daughter was upstairs tearing her skin apart? “you hungry?” “ummmm… no, i already ate before you got home.” Ive become a very convincing liar. Dont get me wrong i feel awful for lying, but if i didnt lie, shed' be hurt and make me actaully eat. I refuse to put something into my body that will make me an even more vile human being.
