I lay in bed running my fingers over the rigid scars and cuts. This leaves me content, for some reason i feel a sense of peace everytime i cut. Everytime i hold the blade i know that i could just end it all if i wanted, but i feel a tinge of power when i dont. im hurting myself before anyone else has the chance to. You see, self-harm is like a drug, and im an addict. When i feel like exploding i get a quick fix by harmimg. I know how wrong it is and ive tried to stop, but im addicted and cant stop. I will never recover or stop, because i dont want to anymore. There is nothing better or more effective then self-harm. If im angry,sad,depressed,overwhelmed or whatever all have to do is harm and i release it all. Cutting isnt the only form of harm i practice, i purge my feelings out when im not cutting, or i starve the hatred in my body. Apart of me wants to stop and knows its wrong, but the other part is much stronger and powerful, this part needs self-harm and isnt willing to give it up.
