Im not really sure how much longer i can continue like this. Everyday im still here i grow to hate myself more and more. Every morning i wake up gasping for air, because of the terrors i encountered in lastnights dreams. As i take that first gasp i know im a failure, i failed at staying asleep, i failed because i woke up. My thoughts disappearing as quickly as they came when my mother opens the door to make sure im awake for school. "Hey darling, im going into work early so i left breakfast on the table." she plants a kiss on my head before leaving. My morning starts off with a bone chilling shower, then finish getting ready before heading to the kitchen. I walk into the kitchen,as soon as i walk in my eyes fall upon the treachery. In a blind rage i grab the plate flipping its contents everywhere and smashing blindly. Im screaming and crying until i cant breathe. I finally pull myself together and clean up the sugary donuts from the table and floor. The bus ride to school gives me time to think and cool off. Im not really sure why the donuts upset me so much, maybe my mother put them there to test me, or maybe she was hoping id eat them so she could be skinnier and id be the pig of the house, but of course i didnt eat them. Ana should be so proud of me, im doing this all because of her, its just me and Ana. The school day passes by like normal, chatting with my friends, making plans,(that i wont be attending), i hate school and i hate all of my friends. They are so lucky, none of them have to hide behind a broken smile, or worry about weight because they are so beautiful and skinny. But what i really hate is that they are all perfect, so perfect that they dont notice how imperfect i am. I hate every single one of them, everyone except Ana.
