I Am Scared

I Am Scared

What would you feel if your life was full of pain?

Of torment?

Of taunting and insults?

I have tried to be brave,

But I am scared

My heart and my low self-esteem battle fiercely.

You know it’s pointless, just give up

You know you’ll never win

Says my self-esteem slyly

Have faith, you are a strong person

You’ve got to keep your head up

My heart says encouragingly

Don’t joke with yourself,

You know they’re right

Just look at yourself,

I look, and see through my low esteem’s eyes

See, you’re just as ugly and fat as they say you are

He says in a voice filled with venom.

Look again, and see through MY eyes this time.

This time I look at myself in my will’s point of view

You’re smart, you’re talented, and they’re all just jealous.

You have skills, you have grace,

And you have friends and family that love and support you.

What do you have to worry about?

Asks my heart kindly

But I am scared

They have come again

It hurts

It rips through my very being

Not just the words,

But the evil intentions behind those words

Behind those simple, yet deadly letters

See, I told you I was right. I’m ALWAYS right

Said my esteem in a knowing way

Fight back! You know it’s there inside of you! Please!

You have to at least try!

Begged my heart desperately

I wanted so badly to listen to my heart

To show the world that I had a voice,

A hand in my own fate.

But it hurts

It hurts so much

I am afraid for what comes next,

I try to be brave, but it’s no use because,

I am scared.