Pretty Memories : ( Tyga Story )

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Faith

Self Harm – The practice of cutting or otherwise wounding oneself, usually considered as indicating a deep emotional disturbance .

I almost had a relapse this past weekend, I was alone in the house so took opportunity in my grasp . Came across my old razor blades and put it close to my skin to the point where the razor against my skin felt like a pinch .

I took the blade to the start of my forearm, I was shaking, I wanted to do it, I wanted to take the pain I was feeling to a whole other level . Tears started streaming down my face as I was going crazy sitting on the bathroom floor, thinking whether this is really what I wanted . I took the blade and began to write letters in my skin .

M.I.C.H.A.E.L

I dropped the blade on the floor realizing what I was spelling out, I didn't cut myself but you could clearly see the trace of his name in my arm .

I was getting out of control again, I was having premonitions of what was going to happen to me if I continued acting like this . My shit isn't looking too good right now, I can see a lot more pain and a possible fatality, I can feel a bad ending is coming my way and it's out of my hands to change it .

Not only did I almost cut myself but I damn near swallowed a couple pills of Oxycontin, don't ask me how the hell I got them in my possession . Anyways the pills were staring me down hardcore, I tried my hardest to stay away but no matter where I went I could hear it calling me in the back of my mind .

I put a couple of them in hand and just looked at them, I broke out in a cold sweat . Holding them wasn't good enough for me, so I put them in my mouth . The longer they sat on my tongue the more nasty the taste became so I spit them out .

Weeks went and gone and I was still in the same state of mind, I'm beginning to find myself home alone a lot more often now and I hate every single moment of it, only positive thing I can say now is that I found something to channel my pain into, I write, anything that comes to mind . Mainly Michael .

Tonight wasn't the same as any other the night, I step outside and felt a different vibe . I sat under the small tree in the front yard with my knees bunched close to my face . Looking up to the stairs, just gazing . . I looked up at the street in the distance and heard a car engine coming, I paid no attention to it . As it got closer the headlights shined bright in my face it was almost blinding . I stood up and noticed the car was swerving and driving erratically . As it got closer to me the car jumped the curb and stopped on my front yard . It was dark outside and I couldn't see who was in the car, I slowly crept to the car door and opened it to see if the person was okay . Out dropped a bottle of Rum, Hennessy, and Chardonnay on the ground breaking into pieces as they hit down .

"Michael ?" I said in a high shocked voice

"Faith – why – where – how – I like – why – you – in – my room ?" he struggled to make sense

"Michael what the hell are you doing, get out the car now !" I reached over him and pulled the keys out the ignition

His eyes kept fading into the back of his head and his speech was hard to understand . I managed to get him out the car and walked him in the house and up the stairs to my room, no one was home at the time . Then I walked back down stairs and grabbed the broom out the kitchen to go clean the broken glass bottle on the ground and lastly moved his car off the curb and parked it on the side of the house . I ran back in my room to find him sprawled out on the floor, I picked him up and laid him on my bed and place a trash can below him