The Girl Inside

Chapter 5

Five days I've been under watch with Carol.

Five days with sideways glances and hurried walking when people hear me coming. Hopefully if Rick will let me stay, they will see im not all that bad.

At first it was awful. No one would look at me, even standing near me to them seemed like the death penalty. I had to get up an hour earlier than everyone else, not because they didn't want to see me eat- as i dont do that anymore. No, it was my actual appearance. No one wanted to see my face or my eyes because i looked exactly like a fricking zombie, just a lot cleaner.

Every morning so far I've had to get up early, wash my face and then put in these contacts and cover up provided. The contacts luckily were found in the medical room which a group cleared,but  the cover up? a mix of clay, water and this dodgy pink powder.

Not the best look.

I am cleaning constantly, tidying and helping cook. Its the only thing they let me do, or think Im capable of. I cant help look after the small children because they're all afraid of me, and then whenever i offer to go on a run to help, Carol instantly ushers me away or the people going will just start mumbling no. Its always NO.

Despite this however, i know im entirely grateful for what Rick, Carol and the rest have done for me- even if its just one more week to live.

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"Luna could you go fill up the water but please?" Carol asked. I nodded and walked out of the room and made my way out into the sunny courtyard below.

It was a beautiful start to my sixth day under watch. I always enjoyed these walks as not only did it give me time to think and enjoy the view- but it also just gave me a chance to explore. I know i shouldn't do, but i take a new route everyday just so i can look around.

As i look up i see somebody is already at the water but.

Crap.

Crap again, its Ricks son ,Carl. I've spoken to him briefly, but just because i was made to help him tidy his cell. Wasn't the best way to get to know him as i left the room running with him screaming at me to 'get the fuck out' just because i was looking at some pictures under his pillow. Jeesh.

I cleared my throat and stopped a couple meters behind him. He glanced around, saw it was me and said nothing. I wasnt surprised. 

I shuffled my feet a bit and started to whistle tunelessly.

"Shut up."

I stopped mid hum and looked down at my feet, hurt. I walked over and watched him fill up his bucket.

"why does everyone hate me?" i whispered.

"because you're what forced us into this mess. You're a creepy rotter who's scaring everyone, so why's everyone gonna give you more than a hateful stare?" he thundered.

"but look i haven't always been like th-"

"No one cares. Just prove to my dad that you're worth something. Just for godsake be normal and don't go snooping anywhere." he muttered.

His expression softened a bit and he starter to fill up my bucket for me.

"Daryl said he was thinking about taking you on a quick run this afternoon. So obviously not everyone thinks you're a complete psycho."

He winked at me and walked away, my bucket now over filling with water but i didn't even notice.