𝙎𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙖𝙡 || 𝘠𝘪𝘬𝘶𝘯/𝘡𝘪𝘬𝘶𝘯 [𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘥]

t h i r t y - o n e

Long ass A/N - sorry!

The end is really coming. Although I hate to part from this fanfic, I'm kinda happy I can finally finish it soon. But I'll be taking two months off after I finish 'Scandal'. Some may know, my exams are coming up and this is the only chance for me to study abroad and meet my idols (god save me). I have lots of fanfics to write, there are 12 in my draft. But 3 of them are confirmed to be released at June. Two of them are BTS fics, and the last one is CHENGSTIN!

As many of you may know, I've been planning for that since one of my readers requested me. But I've been hesitant what theme will go for them and many people wanted fluff. I can see the combination - a living meme and a cute candy boy. But I really want to create a character that doesn't reflect their personality. So yes, the theme is angst. (I hope you guys aren't mad)

Details about that fic will be revealed when the epilogue for this book is posted. (I'm hella excited to write - but studying comes first in this case). I hope you guys won't forget me during these two months. Good luck to all those people around the world who are taking IGCSEs this May. *fingers crossed*

wzy

We were practicing very hard for the debut showcase. I noticed Xukun looked a bit tired. I still couldn't forget him. I will someday but surely it's not in the near future.

I love him. I love him dearly. But it probably wasn't enough for him. He still chose his company over me.

I watched him from distance as he was talking to the fellow members. He was panting while speaking. Is he okay?

---

Night time came as I was with my roommate Nong Nong. He was moving too much that I couldn't sleep at all. I decided to get a glass of water but all the water in the room was gone. I lazily got out of bed and headed to the kitchen.

But then I heard distant chattering coming from the living room. I peaked a little to see Xukun and the manager speaking. Xukun didn't seem well. They looked like they were arguing.

"Ge, I am really sorry." Xukun sighed.

"You should be. Not to your fans but also your members! You can't do that to them!" the manager quietly scolded.

"But... you know my condition..." Xukun paused.

"Of course I am aware! If that wasn't the reason, I wouldn't be standing here talking to you nicely." the manager ge muttered.

"This is the letters I wrote to the members," he pulled out a stack of envelopes out of his bag which was next to his luggage. What the hell.

"And this... please give it to Ziyi." he pulled out a small rectangular box.

"It was a short period of time... but I've grew fond of you. I wish you the best." the manager ge dragged the luggage out to the door.

"Xiao Kun!" I yelled. Both of them turned to my direction and gasped.

"Z-Ziyi..." Xukun was speechless. "Mind telling me what the hell is going on?" I asked in a harsh tone. The two of them exchanged glances, not wanting to utter a word.

---

"Let me explain... just not here. You'll wake the others." Xukun let out a deep breath as we both went outside.

"Now, speak." I grunted. "Ziyi... the real reason I left-" then I cut him off. "There was a real reason? You lied?" my voice started to shake. All those times I convinced myself that I would get over him seemed pointless all over again.

"The truth is... my heart... it's in a very bad condition. I don't want to spend the rest of life lying on the hospital bed... waiting for a donor. I won't do that... I wanna explore the world one last time. I've saved the company from that woman's hand... I've fallen in love with the most wonderful guy I ever know... trust me... you're the best gift in my life." By that time, both of us were already dwelling in tears.

"But I can't drag you into my sinking life... you have so much more to face... so much... so much wonderful things waiting for in the future." he stated. "A future without you! I don't want that! I want you!" I caressed his cheeks gently.

"You can't have me... I'm dying." Xukun cried. "You are not dying... you said... th-" I was sobbing so badly I could barely speak. "You said there's a chance for heart transplant. Please stay, for me." I begged.

"I can't... I can't do that to you. What if I didn't survive? I can't make you feel that way." He shook his head, stepping away from me.

"Don't you love me?" I asked. "I love you! Of course I do!" He cried. "Then why are you doing this to me! You never considered my feelings! You are so selfish!! You were planning to leave me behind with a fucking letter and a box." I started yelling as Xukun cried even more.

"I hate you! I will grow to hate you more!" Although I didn't mean to say any of those, my heart ached imagining if I hadn't got up to drink water, I would've missed him. It's just too coincidental.

"Ziyi," then I cut him off. "Go! I won't stop you anymore. Leave!" I raged. I was going into the dorm when he tried to grab my hands but I yanked them away.

"Zi- Zi" then he stopped talking. When I turned around, I found him unconscious on the ground.

No. Don't leave me.

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