Left Out (Demi Lovato)

Chapter 17: Cry Baby

*trigger warning*

Hayley's POV

I wake up the next morning and, for a minute, question where I am. Then I remember that Mr. Jacobs had come and taken me back "home" from Demi's house. The other girls that I share the room with are gone, probably to school; why didn't they wake me up?

I climb out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I undress and step into the shower. Slowly, I turn the water as hot as I can handle and wash my hair as the steaming water runs down my face and down onto my thigh which stings as it hits my cuts. On the top shelf in the shower is my razor. I take it into my hands and snap it apart so that the blades fall into my hand. I place all but one of them on the floor outside the shower and press the last one into the palm of my hand to make sure that it can't wash down the drain.

I sit on the floor of the shower with the hot water still running only a bit cooler now. If anyone found out that I am using all the hot water I would be in so much trouble. I admire the shiny, new blade in my hand. Then I look at my legs that I pull to my chest. The one covered in swollen red lines and the other, still, completely untouched by a blade. I guess it's time to change that.

I bring the blade to my uncut leg and press the sharp side onto my leg. Easily, I dig the blade into my skin and slide it across. Then my mind numbs itself out and my hand takes into autopilot, cutting without me even thinking about it. A few minutes later I look down and see that my whole thigh is covered in blood and some of the cuts look like they may need stitches. Oh well, I can deal with that later. 

I continue to slide the blade across my leg until my entire thigh is covered in cuts. I cut a few times on my wrist as well, knowing that I'm more likely to cut a vein there. A dizziness starts to take over me, meaning that I'm losing too much blood. I climb out of the blood covered shower, the water still running, and press a thick towel to my thigh. I know that I'll get in trouble, but it's a situation that needs immediate attention. Something inside me tells me to go ask for help, but I know I can handle it alone.

"Hayley! Are you almost done in there?!" I hear my foster mother call up the stairs.

I try to reply but am in so much pain and am so dizzy that I start throwing up instead. Even though I haven't eaten for a few days, my body's reaction is to puke my guts out until the only thing coming out is blood.

Then, everything fades away into darkness.

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Next Update: Thursday