Numbers || Andy Biersack

chapter twenty six

I hadn't known what to expect when I landed in LA. I had called Andy to let him know I was coming and he'd eagerly agreed to pick me up. My thoughts were still so jumbled but I knew I had to do this.

Andy was waiting by the baggage carousel when I finally found him in the crazy maze that was LAX. He looked the same as he had the last time I'd seen him, but different at the same time. 

Our reunion wasn't something out of a fairytale. He didn't pick me up and spin me around in his arms and I didn't rush up to him and greet him with a steamy kiss. If anything, it was kind of awkward. I hugged Andy to me, his lips brushing against my hair. I knew he wanted more, but I still wasn't sure how I felt. It was almost like there was an invisible wall between us. This Andy was so different from the one I'd known two years ago. Even though there'd been lies back then, at this point, there seemed to be an even greater plasticity to our relationship.

Andy grabbed my small duffel bag from the carousel and we made the short trip to Andy's sleek SUV. It was a far cry from the bachelor typical Audi he'd driven when we first dated and though he still drove an Audi, it was a large SUV. Though it was luxurious, there was a maturity to the vehicle that was boasted by the spacious backseat which included a DVD player screen and a black car seat. Children's toys were tossed on the seat beside it. Even though Zander was with Juliet, as Andy had explained, it was clear that his presence was influenced in every aspect of Andy's life.

I settled into the passenger's seat while Andy got in on the other side. When Andy finally backed out of the parking space, he reached across the center console and took my hand. That was the moment my decision really felt real. I was with Andy now. Not in relationship terms, but I had made a decision and now it was time to see how it would play out.

"Glad to be back in LA?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's nice. It's...," I trailed off, not exactly sure what to say. In all honesty, I missed the foggy smog-filled air of London. The city I'd been raised in, buzzing with excitement and sun, left me longing for home.

"Inevitable," Andy finished cockily. "I knew you'd come back to me."

"I haven't really made a decision if I'm staying or not," I stated quietly.

"You're here, aren't you? Seems like you've made a decision."

Something inside of me had dimmed. I felt I was regressing in a way. The Kourt I'd left behind in LA two years ago greeted me with open arms as I returned to Andy. I felt pliable and timid. I didn't feel like the alive girl I'd grown to be around my friends and Rhys. 

"So I was thinking I'd stay at your place, if that alright. Or I can get a hotel or stay at my mom's," I mused.

"You're staying at mine," Andy declared. "I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can. I suppose it's selfish, but I want you all to myself for as long as you're here."

I smiled at the somewhat possessive sentiment. Andy squeezed my hand, sending me a small smile.  I admired him from my position beside him. Our age difference was clear in the defined features of Andy's face and the slight signs of maturity that had crept upon him. But his spirit was still young, not as youthful as when I'd known him at sixteen, but he was still not quite as mature as his age implied. There was a boyishness to him that I liked and that seemed to be extra prominent when he was around me.

"I missed you," I admitted. "I read your letter a while ago and it made me really remember everything we had. A lot of it was bad, but a lot of it was really good too."

"It was so good," Andy murmured.

"I know. I just can't help but feel like the bad outweighed the good back then. What we had wasn't a good relationship, you know?" I explained. Andy was expressionless as he stared out the windshield, observing traffic. "I want us to have another chance because I feel like there's something there. But, Andy, there's also a lot of bad things that I don't want to revisit."