Jax

Storytime

"WHAT IS THIS? ANSWER ME!" he yelled in my face. The tears boiled in my eyes. He couldn't know. What would he think of me?

"No." I whispered shakily. "No. If you knew you would kill me." I looked deep into his eyes.

"That's making me more angry. Give me your damn arm right now young lady." He seized my arm and looked at the bandage. He started to unwrap it. unwinding it until I could feel the cool air hit it. "What the-" he stuttered and stepped back. His hand reached his forehead and he pursed his lips while his eyes were tightly closed. "Why? Wha... what made you do this?" I looked at him in shock, not knowing what to say.

"It- it- it's because," I couldn't search for the words. "I... I... I'm depressed. I think."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Trex brings me into a hug. "You can tell me anything. You know that right?" He grabs my face and kisses my forehead.

"I was afraid to tell you because I thought you would get mad at me for hurting myself." I burst out crying and hugged him. "I just want mom and dad back. I don't want to be the weird girl at school anymore. I don't want to live up to Isaacs standards anymore. I honestly like him so much but sometimes he just isn't enough for me. We never hang out anymore and I have a feeling he's cheating on me. I don't feel like how I used to and I feel so lonely all the time even though you're here. I just feel so out of place!" I weep. The sensational feeling takes me over. "I'm sorry. Trex I'm so sorry." I sniff in his arms and he only pulls me closer to his chest.

"Don't scare me like that again. Why do you cut yourself?" He looks into my eyes and I see tears forming at the edges of his.

"Because I don't feel like I'm enough. I'm always comparing myself to others and I'm worrying more about Isaac's feelings before putting my own first. I just don't love myself anymore." I say with a sniff.

"But I love you so much Liv. You are so enough because you got put on this earth for a reason. You deserve to be happy because we only get one life. You never get a second back. Maybe it's time you break up with Isaac. If he isn't showing you the love you deserve, then he doesn't deserve you." He hugs me one more time then walks me to the car.

I get in and turn my head to the window. Wiping my tears from my puffy eyes. Great! Now it's going to look like I was bawling my eyes out when I get to school. What a great way to start the school year. What are they going to think of me? This crazy girl that can't stop crying. What a lousy freshman. So much for me being at the top of my game this year.

The car ride to school is silenced by the quiet sound of the radio in the distance. I turn my head to look forward. The sun rising over the mountains. The way the clouds make an ombre. With shades of pink, blue, and purple mixing to make something magical. The only thing on earth that made me not feel terrible.

Trex grabs my hand and squeezes looking at me and giving a soft smile.

We arrive in the parking lot at 6:55 am. The sky already light. Making everything feel a little better. I flip down the visor and open the mirror; examining my makeup. The damage wasn't as bad as I thought. Only my mascara was a little runny and my eyes red. I fixed it in two minutes flat. The car that my brother drove was a Subaru Baja. He had gotten it from our absent dad when he left. With what little space there was, I tried to pull my oddly shaped instrument out of the back of the car and failed miserably so I had to get out of the car. I sighed and went around back to open the trunk. My mind seemed to be getting more aggressive every passing minute. "Open the damn trunk Trex!" I banged on the hood. "Come on I want to get into the band room." The trunk opened and I grabbed both of my instruments and my backpack from the back seats. What was Trex doing? He was just sitting there in his seat looking forward. I walked over to his side and he rolled down the window.

"Just go in. I'll be right there." He sighed and rubbed his forehead. He didn't even look at me.

"O... okay. It's almost seven." I say and he rolls up the window. I tried to get it together before I got into the band room so I would at least look put together.

"Hey Olivia! You can go take a seat over there," Mr. Beck pointed at the rows of seats where everyone was sitting and chatting away, "where's your brother?" he questioned.

"Oh. Uh, he's just grabbing his stuff from his car I'm sure he'll be right here." I tried my best to smile. I grabbed my instruments and headed for the chairs. Oh great! Monty was here. Was he in jazz too? I smile and take a seat next to some girls.

"Hey Liv! I've missed you!" says Lily and hugs me. "How's your weekend been?"

"It's been pretty good I've been preparing for school. I'm really nervous." I giggle and look down at the floor.

"Is everything okay?" she asks, wrapping her arm around my shoulder.

"Uh.. maybe can we talk about it a little later?" I question quietly.

"Yeah of coarse! I'm always here!" she smiles and gives me a squeeze.

I see Trex walk in and his eyes appear to be puffy like mine were five minutes ago. Mr. Beck welcomes him and beckons for him to sit. I see him glance at me and then turn his smile on and find some friends.

"What's up everyone! Happy first day of school! I would like to introduce some people to our group this year. A very good addition too! Please say hello to Olivia, our only freshman, and Trex a Junior! They have come from Seattle." Mr. Beck announces from his podium. I smile and wave, rushing to sit down. Trex does the same and goes back to talking. What is going on with him? I mean he did just find out that I've been hurting myself but I didn't know it would effect him this much.

Hey guys!!!!! I got this chapter done pretty quick! sorry it went by so fast. Hopefully it makes sense! How was your guys spring break?

Anyways like always, I might have the next chapter up by tonight but we'll see!

Comment, vote and follow me! I hope you guys enjoy! love ya!

XOXO- Jamers.

April 4th, 2018