ROGER (Read Until 7/31)

T W E N T Y - O N E

When I'd first met Xerses, I was four and cried all the time. My dad's passing was partly to blame, but I know now that tears were built into my disposition. They were constant, annoying, and did nothing but keep me four years old for a long time.

What did stop my tears growing up was Xerses' smile. The smart boy next door with the chocolate eyes that followed me; the smile that made me laugh. It was always wide and bright, and erased all the dark in a room.

That's how he smiled when Roger opened the door. He stood, looking at me through the glass cell that housed him, and motioned for me to come closer. I did and let go of Roger's hand; I followed that smile.

"Missed me?" he asked, his smile a constant.

I opened my mouth to respond but stopped before I could answer him. Instead, I looked back at Roger, who leaned against the doorway, biting the insides of his cheeks. He locked eyes with me before pushing himself up straight and cleared his throat. Then, he broke that stare, looked down at the floor, and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Baby girl." Xerses pulled my attention again. "You all right?"

"I am," I sighed and pressed my hands against his cold cell, "but I should be asking you that. How is this happening? What about Verba?"

I heard Roger's foot hit the floor behind me as he spoke in Xerses' place. "No one knows, Clara," he muttered. "Little after I got here, he came around."

"He did?" My eyes followed Xerses' hand as he lifted and hovered it just over mine. Our hands were so different in size.

"He did," Roger added, and sighed. "We shared a room for a bit, before..."

Before...

I turned just my head to look back at him, only to find that he'd stepped out of the room, staring down the hall. He seemed uneasy, tense. "Roger... if you both shared a room, why's he in here and you're not?"

Roger gaze met mine, but he didn't speak. He looked like he didn't want to.

"Hey." Xerses tapped the glass. "Can't you see my eyes, Clara? I'm not normal. I'm here now, yeah, but..."

When I turned back, Xerses' smile had weakened, but his eyes were brighter than ever. "I'm not always here," he said.

No, that didn't make sense at all. Hosts wouldn't just lose control like that; once a Host, that connection couldn't be severed. Peace had tried! People died in their attempts, and yet... Xerses looked like the next piece to our puzzle.

Excitement took over. I looked back at Roger, ready to ask what steps they had taken to keep him in this aware state, but I stopped when I watched the flame from a light spark bright in his hands. He'd pulled a cigarette from his pocket and held it between his teeth. Once lit, he sucked in, then blew the smoke out the corner of his mouth. I held my breath from the smell.

"You two need a minute," he muttered, looking down the hall again. "I'll make one more swoop around, make sure no one's here. After, I'll come back before the next advancement."

Advancement? "What's a—"

"Thanks, man," Xerses cut me off. And like that, Roger was gone.

That tension that weighed down on his shoulders left with him. I could breathe again, and not because the smoke had gone, but because answering Xerses' questions felt wrong. When I looked back at him and saw that shimmer in his eyes, I remembered how easily I stopped dreaming about them; stopped worrying about him. I'd known he was alive, safe, and it was all I needed. Because for days, my world had revolved around something... someone... else.