The Shy Boy and the Girl in the Green Dress

Extra Chapter - Epilogue - Blake's POV

I just want a say a few words before you start reading. I already posted this a while back as a Wattpad Block Party entry but realized I had never put the whole thing up on my own page. So here it is. 

The epilogue. 8D Get ready for the tearfest! ;P

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The Shy Boy and the Girl in the Green Dress Epilogue – Blake's POV

There's a fraction of a second before I open my eyes when all I can smell is Lexi and my head is resting on one of her overly fluffy pillows and I think that I just have to stretch my hand and there she's going to be, right beside me, like she always is, just within my reach.

But she's not there.

I'm alone in her bed.

I'm alone in her bed and I'll always be alone in her bed because she's not here, she's never going to be here again.

She's gone.

And it's my fault.

I killed her.

I killed her.

My already teary eyes fill up even more and I burry my face in Lexi's pillow to dry them.

When I woke up at the hospital after the car accident, they said I was lucky, that I shouldn't have survived.

I wasn't lucky. That wasn't luck. That was the furthest thing from luck. Surviving when she didn't, that's not luck, that's a punishment.

My punishment.

Because everyone I love, everyone that gets close to me dies. I hurt the people I love.

Lexi's door opens and my head lifts because for another fraction of a second I think she's the one that's going to walk into the room. I think this was all just a nightmare and she's fine, she's alive and she'll smile at me and throw herself in my arms and everything will be alright.

It's not Lexi that opens the door though.

It's her brother. I killed his sister...

"I just wanted to tell you that Josh made pancakes. He thinks you should eat." I bury my face in her pillow again. "I think you should eat too."

"I'm not hungry." My voice sounds awful. Like someone rubbed sandpaper in my throat.

"We're not eating until you come down, you know," he tells me.

Stubborn like his sister... I shouldn't be allowed to be sad, to grieve. I'm the one who did this. I shouldn't even be allowed in this house but my parents pretty much forced me to stay here. They figured I would be... safer here. That I wouldn't do anything stupid if I was staying in her room.

I'm sad to admit they're right...

Mustering all of my very small will, I get out of Lexi's bed. "Alright, I'll come downstairs," I tell Tyler.

His eyes are red. He's been crying. I feel even worse. I don't deserve to be here. How can he even talk to me, look at me, after what I've done?

When I get downstairs with Tyler, Lexi's father and Josh are sitting at the counter. Lexi's mom and her sister left about a week after the funeral.

I didn't go to her funeral. I couldn't. I just... couldn't. They waited for me, waited for me to get better before hosting it, but in the end I just told them to do it without me.

I shouldn't be allowed to say a proper goodbye. I shouldn't even be alive.

"Blake, come on." I realize Lexi's father is up, and looking at me and motioning with his head for me to follow him.