The End of you and me

Unexpected Talk

In five years

I smiled to my family and took the hand of my boyfriend. "We will marry." I yelled and everyone cheered up expect he. He looked at me like his whole world crashed and I know it really did.

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Alecs pov

I was laying in my bed and starred at the ceiling. I stopped to cry but only because it felt like I used all my tears and I didn't had more. I was so sorry that I ruined our friendship because of my stupid feelings but I can't help it. He was the one I loved and the only one I wanted but I had to accept that I would never get him. He saw me crying and I know he is sad that I don't talk with him about the reason. It surprised me that he was here for me even I wasn't. Once I saw him crying in the restaurant because his girlfriend broke up with him. I couldn't see him crying over a girl that would never love him...not the way I did. I wanted to cry in that moment but I didn't want that he saw me like that and just walked to the toilet where I cried for an hour or so. I hated that these feeling didn't went away and even became stronger instead of weaker. Sometimes I just wanted to take pills and die because when I was dead I wouldn't have these feelings anymore. So often I stood in front of the mirror with the sleeping pills of my mum but then I thought about him. He lost his dad and I didn't want to leave him completely. Maybe we weren't best friends andymore but to leave him like that was wrong even it would make it easire. I often thought about telling him at least that I was gay. I never wanted him to know but now he saw me crying and I saw it in his eyes that he blamed himself for it. I knew he thought he was the reason for me being like that but he wasn't. He was he and I wad me what made things difficult. I had to tell him at least something so he wouldn't be this worried anymore. I wanted him to be happy but I knew it made him sad that I didn't talk with him. Now it was too late anyway he saw me crying and I wanted to talk with him even I could lose him. Okay to be honest I already lost him but I wanted to be honest with him. I took out my phone and texted him quickly before I changed my mind or my courage left me.
《Hey, can we talk?》 I texted him and put the phone away not expacting he would text me back in 3 seconds but he did.
《Sure, where?》 He asked and I sighed now I did it. Now I had to be honest with him...at least a bit honest.
《Come to my place. I need to tell you something really important》 I texted and he saw it in the second I hit the send button. My heart beat so fast I thought it would jump out of my chest every second.
《Be there. Give me 10 minutes.》 He answered and went offline. I was never so scared like I was right now. My breath was quick and my thoughts were killing me. There was no way back and no escape which made me feel like I was in a cage. I sat down in my bed and it seemed like I didn't use all tears because I felt cold thick waterdrops running down my cheeks. I knew he would be here any minute and it made me feel nervous and desperated but it was too late to run away. I had to face my demons and I had to show HIM my demons.

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Magnus pov

I was still in my car when I got a message from Alec. He wanted to meet me and talk of course I agreed. He wanted to tell me something serious and I couldnt say how relived I was that he finally wanted to talk. Maybe there was a little chance for us and maybe I had a chance to get my best friend back. I whipped my tears away and tried to look not like I cried for hours. I looked in the mirror and saw that my mascara was runing down my cheeks. I took out a tissue and cleans it away before I put on new foundation. I was glad that I decided to take my make up always with me for emergencies like that. I smiled...I really smiled because I had hope. For the first time in weeks I had hope and I just praid that my hope wouldn't dissapoint me. I drove at least 200 km/h because I had to see him. I stopped the car in front of his house and basically jumped out of the car. I ran as fast as I could to their house and took a deep breath. I just hoped he wouldn't be crying already. I knew that he cried a few times but I never saw him crying. I felt terrible every time I looked in his red eyes and he lied to me. I knocked excited at the door and heard Izzy running with her high heels to the door. She opened it and looked suprised at me but with her cute smile. "Is Alec here?" I asked and didn't even say hello because I could only think about him. "Yeah. He is in his room." She said to me and I ran up the stairs. I knew this house like my own house because I was so ofree here. I missed it to be here and the feeling like it was my second home. I stood in front of his door and it was death silence I could even hear the clock ticking from the hallway. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before I knocked at his door. "Come in." I heard him saying and I immediately knew he was sad. I opened the door carefully and saw him laying on his back in his big bed. He stared at the ceiling and when he saw me he sat up quickly. "Magnus, you are here." He said with a low voice and I nodded while sitting next to him on his bed. "You wanted to talk and I want to hear you talking." I said softly to make him feel better even I felt like crap too. "Yeah...uhm well...I don't know how to start...you know I'm not good with words." He said and rubbed his neck nervously. I didn't know why but in this second I was scared that he would say he loves me. In that second I was scared that he told me about his feeling and I wanted to hear everything but not that he loves me. If he tells me he loves me it would be real and I had to say him I don't love him not the way he loves me. "Just talk to me. Alexander you can tell me everything." I said and laid my hand on his hand. "I think...I know..." He paused and my heart beat way too fast. The minutes felt like hours and every breath I took became harder. "I know that...I'm gay." He said and I let out a relived breath. He looked at me with scared eyes and I smiled at him. "I know." I said and he got huge eyes. "You...kn..know? He stuttered and I nodded. "Izzy blured it out. I never mentioned it because I thought you would tell me when you want and I see you do." I answerd and for the first time I saw something wonderful. After weeks of sadness and broken looks I saw the one thing I missed so much. I saw a smile on his face and I knew this was a real smile. After 1000 of fake smeiles I finally got a real one. I looked in his eyes and I had no idea what got in me that moment but I leand in. I placed my hand on his cheek and came closer. I brushed our lips together and he responses it by placing his hands on mine. I didn't want to kiss him but in this moment I was not myself. This was the biggest mistake I ever made but in that moment I didn't think.

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Alecs pov

I felt his lips on mine and felt like the whole world stopped around me. It was like a dream came true but it was already reality. I placed my hands on his and kissed him back. He pressed his tongue against my lips to ask for presimission to enter. Of of course I allowed him and opened my lips lightly to let his hot tongue in. I didn't know how long we kissed but the time didn't matter for me anymore...nothing matterd anymore. The only thing I could think about was him and me kissing. He pulled back and I smiled because the happiness inside of me was amazing. I looked in his face and saw...regretting and shame. My happiness faded and turned into fear. "Mag...Magnus?" I asked with shaking voice and he looked with a empty and regretting gaze at me. "Alec this was a mistake. I don't feel something for you." He said...he just said this words like they were nothing. I felt the exact moment when my heart was ripped out and thrown on the floor. I wanted to scream and yell but I felt trapped in my body. This was a nightmare and I only wanted to wake up but this right now was real. "Get out." I said with a low voice close to cry. "Alec I'm..." "I SAID GET OUT!" I yelled at him while the tears ran down my cheeks. He looked at me and also started to cry. "Alec please I don't want to lose you." He said desperated and tried to take my hand but I pulled them back. I looked at him with a hurt look and he looked really guilty but I didn't care. "YOU ALREADY DID. NOW GET OUT OF MY ROOM AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE." I shouted and he got up. He walked to the door and looked at me with sad eyes. "I never wanted to hurt you." He said with a cracking voice and I looked at him. "If you don't want to hurt me then please go and if I mean at least a little bit to you then stay away from me. This...us it's over." I said more calmly and then he was gone. I was left alone and my biggest fear became true the we we were once was over.

Oh Magnus what did you just do?? Please tell me what you think I would like to hear your thoughts about this chapter❤❤❤❤❤❤