Protect Me Forever

Secrets

We walked into the parking lot together, while I pretended to ignore his eyes burning holes through the side of my head.

There's no way Ashton could find out my secrets, but if anyone could, it would definitely be him.

He doesn't know that my ex boyfriend committed suicide. He doesn't know that Brian is hunting me down.

He doesn't know that James is probably working for Brian.

He doesn't know how badly I want to stay here. I have a feeling that everything will be okay.

My mind is weird. Even though Brian is hunting me down, I'm still not over Mike. Mike was nice, caring, sensitive, funny, sarcastic. Mike was.... perfect.

In fact, I would still be with Mike if he never committed suicide. Since his death, so much has gone wrong with me.

I've thought of every possibility to get over his death.

There was throwing up my food, there was cutting myself, and I've even thought of developing anorexia. It was down to cutting or bulimia. Trust me, I didn't want to do either, but if it got me out of depression, I sure would.

"Sid, Sid!" Someone asked beside me, sounding slightly concerned. Caught off guard, my attention was snapped to their face. His face, actually.

Expecting it to be Ashton, I just rolled back over looking out my window, not ready for any questions to be asked.

"Sidney!" Another voice called behind me. The voice was more high pitched than the last one, and that's when I noticed the whole gang was in the car.

"What?!" I groaned, turning around. There everyone was. Ashton was driving, while I sat in shotgun. Behind me sat Ivy, a little distance between her and Lise. Lise looked at me worriedly, like a bug was crawling out of my ear. She had one leg normally positioned on the floor, and the other hugged Levi right below his pelvic area. Hunter sat next to Levi, throwing quick glances at Ivy and then back to anything around him.

That's when I remembered what went down with Hunter's joke in the cafeteria. When I stormed out, and then was locked in the janitors closet. Then Ashton became my knight in shining armour.

"Oh that." I said, sounding very anticlimactic. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Yeah, but we need to. You need to tell us. You can trust us, we're here for you." Ashton said, nicely, but dominant, leaving no room for me to argue.

"But." I started, but I was cut off by Ashton glaring at me, saying talk.

"Okay." I started, sighing. "In Florida, I had a boyfriend. His name was Mike. He was a great guy, and he loved me. That's what hurt the most, is how much he loved me. I loved him too. It wasn't some puppy love you know, it was real. He wasn't abusive to me, he didn't yell at me. He didn't make me do things I didn't want to. Like I said, he loved me. A few days before I moved, I came home to a note on my bed."

Tears formed in my eyes, and I didn't stop them. I let them fall, freely.

"I thought it would be some wonderful love letter, about him saying how much he would miss me, but it wasn't. Do you want to know what it was?!" I half yelled. I turned around, and saw only Hunter nodding. Everybody else was dead silent. I closed my eyes, but they wouldn't allow me to keep them closed.

"It was a suicide note. I read it over and over again, crying, almost taking it as a joke. But then, after multiple calls to his dad, Brian, Mike wasn't home. I had explained everything to Brian, and he got extremely sad. That's why when people bring up love, or I see people holding hands out in public, I get sad. That's why I can't take compliments without my eyes becoming watery. And you know the worst part? The worst part is, it's all my fault."