The Perfect Princess

Chapter 1 : His Name is Snake for Pete's Sake

"ALL RISE FOR PRINCESS, HALEY Hale."

I couldn't help but laugh a little. I still can't get over how stupid my sister's name is. Haley Hale. What were Mom and Dad drinking when they named her?

"You're supposed to stand up," a maid walking by whispered to me.

I grumbled incoherent words under my breath as I stood up. These shoes were digging into the heels on my feet! I made a mental note to wear flip flops on the actual day of Haley's coronation. It's not like anyone would see them, anyways. This dress is way too long! It extends all the way to the floor! I'm surprised I didn't slip on it during the rehearsal!

Well, I did slip on it a few times while I was entering the auditorium, but I just had to sit for the most part, so I was fine. Speaking of sitting, my butt was so sore! I think it's numb. Can butts even become numb? It feels weird. It's like I don't even have a butt! Well my friend Gavin says I don't, but he's a jerk so his opinions don't exactly count.

Speaking of the jerk, I spotted him at the entrance, holding doors for the staff who entered and exited the auditorium. Gavin caught my eye and he winked at me. A blush immediately formed on my face and I quickly looked away. I didn't want him getting the wrong idea...

"Are you even listening?"

I looked towards the source of the voice and I saw him. General Niche. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. General Niche is probably the king of douches. He's the meanest, wickedest, jerkiest jerk ever!

"My sincerest apologies, General," I said, sarcasm practically oozing out of my mouth. "How may I be of assistance to you, sir?"

"For starters, quit using sarcasm," he barked. I grimaced when a droplet of his spit landed on my face, but I didn't dare take a step back. General Niche is the kind of guy who likes to get into your space. If you back away from him, then he knows you don't want to be near him and nothing good happens when he knows something you don't want him to know.

"And second," he continued, still yelling. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch us. Yup, I'm pretty well known here. Aside from the obvious, I'm General Niche's least favourite person. And let's just say that he killed his own grandmother...Yeah, that's how much he hates me.

"Pay attention!" he shouted. "Just because this is your sister's coronation doesn't mean that you may not have one in the foreseeable future. Hopefully not, but you might."

I couldn't help but glare at him. I really do hate this man. "Sorry," I apologized in a monotone. "I'll pay attention now."

I was about to sit down, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back up. "It's too late. Do you want to know why? Because the rehearsal is over! Pay attention next time." General Niche released me and walked away. I couldn't help but make faces at him from behind, like the mature sixteen-year-old I am.

"I know what you're doing," General called over his shoulder.

"Darn," I grumbled.

Everyone continued what they were doing once the General had left. I doubt anyone was too fond of him. I know I wasn't.

I turned around and was about to leave, but then a hand was placed on my shoulder. "What do you want now, Gen- oh, it's just you."

Gavin gawked at me. "I'm offended! I thought you'd be happy to see me!"

"Yeah," I deadpanned. "I'm ecstatic."

"I love you so much, Courtney Hale!" he cried out dramatically. "Say, why don't we run away and secretly get married?"