The Perfect Princess

Chapter 4 : A Creep Wants to Use My Bathroom

"YOU LOOK HIDEOUS, AS ALWAYS," Yvonne remarked snottily, like the booger she was. See what I did there? Snot, booger? Man, I was a natural comedian.

"You are still cleaning my underwear, as always," I fired back. See that again? I was on fire! I was definitely the best quipper who had ever quipped a quip. One word: KA-BAM!

"For the record, I think Courtney looks great," Hayden piped in, poking his head out of my bathroom.

"Why are you always in there?" I interrogated.

"Why do you always have to make a mess?" he shot back with raised eyebrows. "You should really lay off the prune puddings, Your Highness."

Yvonne smirked at me. "You are such a freak."

I glared at Hayden, but he was too engulfed in his work to notice. Therefore, I took the mature route and I flung my hair tie at the back of his head.

"Ow!" he yelped, rubbing his head fiercely.

"Yvonne, just use your words next time," I chastised. "I know you're desperate for attention from losers like Gavin and Hayden, but don't hit them. It just emphasizes what a freak you are."

She balled her hands into fists. "Shut up, Courtney! Just shut up!" Yvonne then stomped out of my bedroom, pushing past General Niche, as he entered.

He looked confused for a moment and then gave me an accusing look. "What did you do?"

My mouth flopped open and close, resembling a fish's. "Are you talking to me?"

"No, I'm talking to the other princess in the room," he deadpanned.

"Nice joke," Hayden scoffed.

"Are you ready?" Niche demanded.

"Am I ready for what?" Hayden asked dumbly.

I rolled my eyes at him. "He was talking to me, idiot." I glanced at the General. "Does it look like I'm ready?"

General Niche cocked his head to the side and he examined me. "Your hair is lacking volume. It looks dull and lifeless."

I gaped at him. "That was a sarcastic question! And I'll have you know that my hair looks very life-more."

"That doesn't make any sense," Hayden whispered.

"Go clean my bathtub or something," I hissed. "You're ruining the point I'm trying to make."

"The point that you should learn actual words?" Niche guessed.

"Wow, Niche, you're hilarious," I said sardonically.

"Let's go," the General ordered. "The guests will be here in an hour." He grabbed my arm and dragged me to the elevator.

"Then why do I have to go so early?" I whined.

"On time is before time," he informed me as we stepped inside the elevator.

"That's a stupid saying," I grumbled, folding my arms over my chest.

"You think you could come up with a better saying?" he questioned.

I shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

The General shook his head at me. "It is scientifically proven that the less you know, the more you think you know."

I patted his shoulder out of mock sympathy. "I guess you should hit the books then."

He gave me a flat look. "Watch it, Hale."