Starting Over

Chapter two- Memory Lane

'Starting Over"

2012 Copyright All Rights Reserved

Chapter two

-Present 16 years old-

“Tolerance- The capacity of the body to endure and become less responsive” The teacher beady eyes landed on me. “Hadley care to give us an example of tolerance?”

“If one believes they can overcome something then they will, if one has a lack of faith and belief it’s simple they will fail. Not because they can’t but because they think that they can’t, thus making them unable to perform the task they are trying to do. It’s all about their ability to tolerant and state of mind.”

The teacher gave me a second glance probable thinking I wasn’t smart enough to give a well thought out answer.

Exactly six years ago today Leah died, and to this day no one has treated me the same.

Partly because of the fact I was her best friend and the other because I had followed through on her last request and tried to get Sophia out of the house. I never did get her out of the house but her parents also never killed themselves.

The look on her parent’s faces when I had told them I had saw her, was more than enough to make me want to curl up in a ball and cry.

They had called me crazy saying I wasn’t taking Sophia and I was a demon and Leah was dead no one could change that.

It hurt me deep they were always like second parents to me and so easily they gave up on me and disowned me in a way.

I replay that scene in my mind all the time wondering how I could have told them differently or how I could have made them believe me.

They moved the very next day to the town over, one day they were here and the next gone and a part of me went with that family.

I could deny it all I want but they were my family Leah was the sister I always want, and she was ripped away from me.

I had sometimes late at night wonder if I was crazy, sitting in bed thinking about it almost every night and I still couldn’t tell if I was loony or not. I have to go to therapist appointments every week still; my dad thinks I am unstable.

I can’t be crazy though about my grandmother though I told him every detail of her life to a point. This was after several therapist appointments I had gotten fed up and told him about grandma, and he had shut off from me and the world.

Everyone at school called me the cray cray girl which, stands for crazy, not one of my class mates believed me no one did. They all though it was just traumatic shock and my mind made it up to help kill the grief that manifested deep within me after she died.

Now I rarely ever talk to anybody except for my grandma, she is great to have around to talk to but it would be nice to have someone living to talk to.

The lunch bell sounded signaling I was free of the class room, it wasn’t that I wasn’t good in school I got fairly good grades but who wants to go to school where you are the victim everyday of your existence.

I trailed behind the rest of the class not trusting somebody to walk behind me for fear they would push me down or something.

After a grueling 10 minute walk I finally get to my locker it wouldn’t have been that long of a walk if someone hadn’t knocked me down then kicked my stuff every which way.  

Spinning the combination into the locker I hear it click open and I abruptly slid the door open quickly shoving my things into my locker and slamming the door shut.

I knew I shouldn’t have come to school today, especially with it being June 2 her death date. I may be emotionally detracted to the world but she was my week spot, she was my only true friend.

Tears sprung out of the corner of my eyes and began flowing more rapidly, not knowing what else to do anymore I ran.

I slid out of the side exist door closet to my truck so I could take off without having to run around the whole building. In the back of my mind I knew where I was going.

I was going to where she is burried, my life became so twisted and screwed up once she left.

All I could think about was dear Leah please help me before I do something stupid.

After the countless debates I had with myself I finally went ahead and pulled up in front of Leah’s grave.

My eyes skimmed the sky and I knew she was here with me, watching me wallow in my own self pity about how bad my life is and how screwed up I am.

“I couldn’t think of anywhere to go, no one even really talks or listens to me anymore.” I sighed before continuing “I tried to save your sister I really did but your parents didn’t kill themselves like you said they would. I don’t understand!” Now I am yelling at a dead person. Nice.

I spun on my heels I couldn’t take this anymore maybe I am just crazy like everyone says I am.

Maybe I would be better off dead with my mother, that where I should be it’s not normal to sense the dead or have dream visions about them that’s for sure.

“You are not crazy you know.” I turned back around again startled by the voice that could only match one person.

Leah.