Cloud 9

Gluttony

Part I : Gluttony
Epilogue

    I love how it feels to let go. How much your body tries to suppress it, knowing that it will eventually push through. How my brain tries to soothe the pain by manufacturing a bright symphony, only for it to echo the drops of the storm. For the water to uprise higher; so much so that my vision blurs and my throat tightens to keep me from drowning in my own sorrow. Only for all attempts to fail, and the seal is broken. The hot streaks of desolation burn my skin as they pour down my face.

    It always left a sense of peace after. Usually, Harmony would within me as the tears dry. I would be okay. Free even.

    Not in this moment though. Even as the drops cascaded down my cheeks in frightening sizes, the storm raged on. It hit too fast. My brain didn't have time to comprehend what was happening. My throat, only given seconds to respond, didn't have time to swell up, and so I began to drown.

    Water filled me up from my toes all the way up to the dark saturated clouds. Every nerve in my body awakened and danced around, as if to warn me of the turmoil that was going on inside me. Yet, I didn't move. Not one inch.

    What is to be done now? What should I do now? I bet you don't have an answer—or a useful one at that. I'd hate to keep you sitting here and waiting, so i'll tell you. I'll remember this feeling. That's it. I'll keep this feeling locked deep in my soul and each decision I make will revolve around it. No matter how little or big the step is, all will be calculated and executed, no matter who it hurts in the process.

    I will be okay, and that's all the matters. I can't tell you how that worked out for me, mostly because it hasn't ended yet, but i'll give you insight on my life even so. I can't do this for pity and i'm not doing this for you. I'm simply doing it because I want to. Period, point, blank. So thank me. Thank me over and over again because I deserve it, and no one will tell me otherwise.