The Heart Wants What it Wants

Chapter 4 - It's Okay

12:00 PM finally comes around. Jimin decided to join me like a bring-your-kid-to-work day rather than going back home. I bring my laptop to the photoshoot room (along with another bottle of banana milk of course). "Hi Taehyung! The model should be here shortly, thanks for coming," said the photographer that works along side the company I work for. "No, thank you for having me! I hope you don't mind Jimin tagging along," I reply. She laughs and shakes her head, "Not at all! Makes yourselves comfortable!". We sit at these rolling chairs that are near the lighting. I start to set up my notes and log into my blog. The photographer turns,

"Ah, Mr. Jeon Jungkook! How are you?"

My heart stopped along with my brain forgetting how to breathe like a functioning human being. I start to violently cough. Jungkook darts his head towards the abnormal sound and a cheeky grin grows on his face. "Taehyung! So nice to see you here." he says as he slowly removes the silky royal blue robe he was wearing covering the clothes he was modeling. Or should I say the not-clothes he was modeling. Jungkook was sporting the new line of Calvin Klein brand underwear and was wearing nothing but those. I clear my throat, "Yes, hi Jungkook, wha-hm-what a surprise it is to see you here." Jimin leans in close to me and whispers through the side of his mouth "Um, who's that?" to which I whisper back, 'It's him." and he mouths what would've been him saying "oooooooohh" out of realization. Of course he's a fucking model. "Okay Jungkook! Ready when you are!" the photographer announces. Jungkook nods and immediately strikes a pose. His slender but completely built frame captivates all my attention. It's so hard not to stare. His shoulders are wide and each defined muscle in his shoulders move with every action he takes. His large bicep flexes as he brings his arm up to run his fingers through his chestnut locks. I can't help but let my eyes wander. He wraps his thumb around the band of the underwear to bring it down a bit and I swear to you I forgot how to breathe again. His vline trailing along his sculpted abs was mesmerizing. "Hey, eyes up here TaeTae Baby." Jungkook says with a wink, smirking. FUCK. He did say he was one to just give people nicknames...why does that one have to be mine. My eyes immediately dart away and I look down in my lap. Empty. The page displayed on my laptop is completely blank. I forgot to take notes this whole time for my blog. I started writing down anything that came to my mind instead. My thoughts started at the material and the colors and drifted to the certain someone that was wearing them. Soon enough, the shoot was over and Jungkook slipped the silky robe back on. "Thank you so much, I can't wait to see how they turn out!" he kindly says to the photographer. He starts to walk out of the room when he turns his head at the last second, "See you soon TaeTae." and closes the door behind him. God damn, that boy.

Jimin and I walk back to my desk. "Dude are you serious??" he says as plops down at the chair he was sitting in prior to the shoot. I crack open another banana milk (the bottles are tiny okay??) and pop an eyebrow, "Mm?". He rolls his eyes, "I literally saw you eye fuck that dude. You're totally into him." I don't meet my eyes with Jimin's because doing that is like looking at the Truth face to face. "Stop...I don't know." I mumble. Jimin sighs and puts a hand on my shoulder while I just mindlessly scroll on my phone, "Tae, it's literally 2018, there's not one ounce of wrong in feeling the way that you do. Plus you're such a nice person, I don't think anyone could ever treat you differently just because of this." I stop scrolling when I come across a snapchat feature I forgot existed. The name "Jungkook 😜💞" stared back at me as I looked at the unadded username. Your phone contacts are suggested when you connect your number to your Snapchat account. "Hello?? What are you looking at??" Jimin asked. "It's him," I answer, "his number is in my phone so it's suggesting to add him as a friend." Jimin scoffs, "Well?? What are you waiting for? Add the dude!" I swallow hard, my thumb shaking over the (+) button. A voice sings in my head,

"It's okay."

I press it. Okay maybe I am gay.