who say that I can not love you

part 23

I never been broken like this. Martinus is gone for 1 week now and i do not eat much and i can't sleep good. Marcus try to make me happier he can't.

I go downstairs beacuse Tilde is here. I don't want see anyone so she is more with Marcus and it seem like they have something and i am happy for them. "Hey Bella are you okay" Tilde ask me when she hug me.

"I was been better" i say. "You can survive this" she say. "I hope" i say and go back. I can't like this. I go in bathroom and i found blade. I put is close to my arm and... One...two...three... And more cuts appear. Blood start to fall in bath.

My tears are gone. I don't have nothing to live for anymore. "Bella are you here" i heard Marcus voice. "Yes" i say. "What are you doing" he ask but i don't answer. "Bella" he yell.

He open door. Fuck i forgot to lock it. When he saw me on the floor full of blood he come beside me and hug me. "Martinus will never want you to do this you know" he say. "i know but i don't have anything for what I live." I say.

Then i feel like i will vomit and yeah i did but in toilet. "You don't feel good?" Marcus ask. "No" i say. We go downstairs and dad drive me to hospital. Marcus come too.

They did some tests on me and now i wait. "Isabella Gunnarsen" "yeah it's me" "come please and your dad and brother" doctor say and we go in her ordination. She give me paper with my findings. I hope it's cancer so i can die too.

I look at it and i got bigger shock then when i saw Martinus have cancer. I am pregnant.... With my twin brother. He is gone... How i will do this alone.... But now i get something that i need to live for.

What will hapined now 😶