No more dream

22: Priority (2)

Jungkook's POV

I.. am so selfish. I refused to even listen to her when she was trying to make up. I'm confused. She trusts Taehyung more than me. I'm upset. She didn't try to understand what I was getting at.

But who am I to say? I didn't tell her anything about Jung Eunbi, thinking that I could completely remove her out of my mind. I didn't want to listen to Yuna when she tried to talk to me.

Since she has Taehyung, she'll probably move on as quickly as Jung Eunbi did with me. I hate this feeling. I don't know what feeling it is, but whenever I see Yuna with Taehyung, my heart throbs.

I didn't want to talk to her because I was scared. I was scared of having the feeling of being hurt again. But here I am, not even knowing this other feeling of pain I have currently.

I don't know my reason for my heart being this way. Is it because I didn't want her to go through what I went through? Is it because I'm jealous? Is it because I.. like her..?

My heart speeds up at the thought. But how does that make sense? If I like her, then I would've known sooner, right? I'm probably tricking myself into thinking that. It can happen to people.

As I was walking through the hall, I see through the window outside that Yuna was smiling and laughing with Hwang Eunbi. She seems the same even without me. I felt myself in desolation as I continued to walk to the cafeteria for lunch.

-

I head home as soon as the bus stopped at stop four. I didn't feel like going to that place today, so instead, I played Overwatch. I sometimes immerse myself in games as a stress reliever.

At times, I wouldn't get enough sleep because I wouldn't stop playing. I feel like this will be one of the days that will happen. I needed to take my mind off of them. But no matter how much I played, it would pop into my head.

I groan of irritation. "Aish.." I roughly moved my hair. The memory of Yuna then popped up of the times when she would ruffle my hair. Why is it that whatever I do, it makes me think more of her?

What's worse, trying to entertain myself, but end up thinking about her or turning and twisting in bed, while thinking about her? I didn't want any of that, but either way, I'd be drowning in my thoughts.

I turned my computer off, brushed my teeth, and tucked myself in bed. I took a deep breath and decided to face my mind. I ended up talking to myself in my mind.

Stop thinking about her, she'll be better without you. You saw her smiling in the afternoon. But the three months I've been her friend, I don't think she would just move on like that.

Have you seen Jung Eunbi? Yuna is going to leave just like how she did. Andwae. She tried to fix our friendship. Why are you trying to have hope that she still wants to be with you, if you keep rejecting her?

Because.. because she has Taehyung. He's probably better for her than I am. But that's what you think, what about Yuna? Yeah, what about Yuna? She probably thinks the same.

All this time you've been comparing Yuna and Jung Eunbi. Why do you compare them if you said they're nothing like each other? Why do you think bad thoughts about her even though you want to go back to her?

You're even thinking bad about her right now. Is that my fault? Am I to blame or is she to blame? We're both at fault. Don't make up an excuse to cover this up. Besides, aren't you just doing this to "protect her"?

I don't see how you're protecting her if you're not even by her side. You're scared of feeling pain, so you run away from it. Sure, but you're choosing your pride over your friendship.

You couldn't help eomma stay alive, so what makes you think you could preserve your friendship with Choi Yuna? You couldn't preserve your relationship with Jung Eunbi because you let go of her. Are you planning on letting go of Choi Yuna?

I should've not have tried to dealt with my mind. I had so many thoughts that I couldn't handle. But it'll be the weekend. I could sleep all of my worries, doubts, and troubles away.

At least, that's what I wanted to happen. But it didn't. I had a sleepless night followed by the same dream about eomma. It almost happened the next and last day of the weekend too, but I managed to get a couple hours of sleep at least.

-

In the blink of an eye, the weekend has past. I didn't want to go to school, but the thought of getting good grades for eomma and appa encouraged me to get ready to go to school.

I decided that after my years of high school ends, I'd take over the company as a repayment for the inheritance they gave me. Although, I can't really repay them. But I want to do something in memory of eomma and appa.

As the bus moves and I look outside the window, thoughts float to me. As long as you don't look at Choi Yuna, your heart won't throb. My heart throbbed at her name.

This is getting ridiculous. I'm just being sensitive about this. I'm going to make things right by apologizing to her about the arguements we've had before and tell her my honest feelings.

But what if she won't accept my apology after what I've done? Snap out of it! This won't go anywhere if you don't do anything about it. As the bus came to the school stop, I walked to school.

Is she here yet? Hopefully I could resolve it now. I looked around to see if I could find her backpack since there's a lot of girls who have the same hair style as hers. "Could we talk?"

Wishing that it would be Choi Yuna, but I recognized it the second I heard it. I turned to her. "What do you want? I'm busy." I was going to walk away when she grabbed my arm.

"Jungkook-ah, let's make a compromise." that was something I wanted to do before, but now isn't the right time. I try to pull my arm off. "If you don't do as I say, then I'll tell everyone that your parents died because of you and that you're the son of that famous company!"

"Aish, jinja. Let go!" she kept clinging to my arm. I finally got my arm off and quickly jumped back. "I'm leaving." I need to find Yuna before Jung Eunbi distracts me again.

"If you don't do what I say, I'll torture that transfer!" I look back at her. Is she crazy? "Yeah, that's right, I'll have Taehyung torture her, and even break her heart. Do you know what I'm getting at?"

My head becomes dizzy at the thought. I've already hurt Yuna, and she could get hurt mentally and physically worse. I want to protect her, I want her to be happy for some unknown reason.

"What do I have to do?"