Faith Allan
Health- Mrs. Noel
8th Grade
Goodbye
I grit my teeth against the cold. My legs were starting to stiffen and my fingers were numb. I knew I should have brought my coat. The thin sweater I was wearing barely covered my stomach, so it was no wonder I was freezing. I heard the sound of laughter and slowly looked up. I saw two kids playing in their front yard. There was a dog chasing them, barking at them playfully. The parents of the two kids were smiling happily in the direction of their kids. The man wrapped an arm around the woman, kissing her forehead. A small smile stretched across my face as I witnessed the family. It made me remember my family and I was filled with longing.
Maybe it was my greasy hair or the way my clothes looked, or maybe I was starting to stare too long, but suddenly the mom called the kids inside, not taking her eyes off me. My smile vanished faster than the family, and I was once again alone with my thoughts. I walked faster than I did before, the determination to get "home" stronger than ever.
I pushed my hands into my pockets, trying to warm them up when I remembered why I was out here in the first place. The small baggie crinkled as I touched it. I looked around, making sure no one was watching me. I slowly pulled the baggie out, making sure I was facing away from the public eye. I eyed the powder, wanted to take a hit right now.
"Not now, Jen. At least not here." I told myself, pushing the bag back in my pocket when it opened. It happened almost in slow motion. The powder fell out, falling on the ground below me. I collapsed on the ground, trying to snort as much as I could before it blew away. When I realized what I was doing, I stood up immediately. I looked around and noticed I had a visitor. A small cardinal. It looked at me with it's small, beady eyes, ruffling its feathers. It was such a beautiful red color, it reminded me of a rose or maybe cherries. It made me realize how hungry I was. I looked at myself, feeling ashamed of how skinny and disgusting I looked. Was this really worth it? Living homeless on the streets, no family or company, slowly depriving myself of life?
I looked down and saw the rest of the powder blow away. I sighed slowly and crumpled. I felt the tears begging to escape, the cold just becoming too much for my weak body. I tried to remember when I slipped, or better yet, why. I regret everything.
FLASHBACK
"Hey, Jenny! Over here!" Melissa waved wildly, her body swaying slightly from the drinks. I grinned widely, excited to see her here. She said she had an important appointment and wouldn't be able to make it. I pushed through the sweaty bodies and tried making my way over to her. I tripped over a girl's high heels, discarded in the middle of the dance floor. I stumbled into Melissa and tackled her to the floor. We both laughed hysterically, hiccuping occasionally from our drinks. I still had a buzz in my system and my vision was slightly foggy, but I thought I was fine.
"What's up, Mel? I thought you had an appoi-" She grabbed my arm and yanked me towards the bathroom, interrupting me. When we made it inside, I wrinkled my nose at the smell of vomit and cigarettes. The sinks were covered in grime and one of them was filled with used cigarettes. All the toilets were clogged or had unidentifiable fluids in them. Melissa checked all the stalls and made sure the door was locked. She glanced around one more time before pulling out a bag of white powder. I immediately knew what it was and my smile vanished. I stumbled backward and tripped on an empty water bottle. My head hit the wall and I felt even dizzier than before. I rubbed my head and groaned in pain. When I opened my eyes, Melissa was crouched in front of me, smiling like a psycho.
"You wanna know how I got it, don't ya?" she asked, her eyes glassy and her breathing irregular. For the first time since I noticed her, I took a good look at her. I saw her hands were covered in white powder, or "cocaine", and the bottom of her dress was filthy. I squinted real hard and also noticed the bottom of her nose was coated with a thin layer of cocaine. My eyes widened at the realization and I nearly screamed in anger. Doesn't she know this is how her brother died? Does she remember health class? How can she forget the way she sobbed when they told her he overdosed or how isolated she became when she finally realized he was gone. When I finally found my voice, it came out frightened, not angry.
"W-why would you do t-this? You know this is how Kris died! How could you be so stupid?!" I was standing up now, frustration and desperation stirring me awake. My hands on my hips, my breaths short, just like my temper. I was so furious with her, I could scream.
"It's not as bad as you think! The guy I got it from, a local farmer, said he grew it organically and there were no harmful chemicals. It's not even addicting! Promise!" She said, her tone defensive and childish. I knew getting her another margarita was a bad idea. Curse her and her lightweight drinking habit. If only my drunken mind knew what the consequences were, and where I would end up. I remember raising my eyebrows, not believing her. She rolled her eyes and shoved the bag in my face. Not prepared for it, I inhaled deeply and started coughing. I choked on nothing until I had tears in my eyes. Melissa laughed, thinking I was playing a prank. I could feel the drug start to affect my body. I felt calm like I had no worries. My mind shut down and that's the last thing I remember.
When I woke up, I wasn't in my bed. I was in a caged box, or to be more specific, a cell. I shot up, immediately regretting it because of a massive headache. I groaned in pain and confusion. Why am I here? Where's Melissa? Why can't I remember anything? Usually, I just have foggy spots, not forgetting my entire evening. I start panicking, my mind racing. "Ok, calm down Jen. First, find Melissa." I told myself, trying to calm down. I ran to the cage door, banging on it. I started yelling, not caring if I woke up the other cellmates. They woke up, and they were not happy.
"SHUT UP, BLONDE!"
"I'm tryin to sleep!"
"Keep it down, idiot!"
Finally, I got the attention of an officer. She looked distastefully at my outfit, grimacing at my appearance. I looked down and almost blushed. My dress was covered in white powder, alcohol, and something else I couldn't identify.
"Where is Melissa?" I asked, feeling like a little kid asking a teacher where the bathroom is. The police officer's name tag read Debbie. She looked kind of mean.
"Who?"
"Melissa Bachlette, Brunette, 16, Kinda Skinny-"
"Ok, I get it. Yeah, I've seen her."
"Really! Where is she?" I practically burst with excitement. The officer suddenly looked sympathetic, her next sentence probably going to be sad,
"Your friend isn't....um......" she hesitated, awkwardly scratching her neck. She bit her lip and looked down. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, she looked back up at me and told me the news.
"You're friend didn't make it. She overdosed in the bathroom while you passed out from a concussion. You're lucky to be alive. Someone found you two in the bathroom, passed out. I'm sorry for your loss, but you kids shouldn't be playing with that stuff. It's dangerous and disgusting. Don't you have better respect for yourself than that? Anyway, your parents are on their way." She left awkwardly, shuffling her feet as she practically ran to escape the conversation. My hands flew to my mouth and tears started to form in my eyes. An ugly sob escaped my throat. Later on, my parents picked me up, disappointment and disgust clear on their face. When we arrived home, they kicked me to the curb. No questions or comments asked. They just grabbed my stuff and threw it outside.
With nowhere to go, I stumbled upon a cheap drug dealer, Nancy. She offered two baggies of cocaine for my clothes and suitcase. With nothing to help with my grief, I agreed and that was the start of my addiction. I was never able to accomplish my goals of having a good family relationship or buying a car.
END OF FLASHBACK
So as I lay here, about to die of hypothermia, I realized I had made a huge mistake. I wronged so many people, including my parents. I failed Melissa and Chris and followed in their footsteps. As I close my eyes for the last time, my final thoughts are filled with pictures of family I let down and photos of friends I'll never see again.
Goodbye.
