The Adventures Of Tyra™

Present Day - Where it all starts!

OnE dAy when Tyra the Diva™ was at his computer playin' the Okie Dokie game or whatever, he heard a crash in the basement.

"Oh, it's probably just my bird." He says to himself.

Then he realizes:

He doesn't have a bird...

So he rushes downstairs to make sure his eight hundred pots of old, antique chili are all okay. He flies down the stairs and trips a couple hundred times, then looks around the basement, which is illuminated only by his Pink Princess Magic Mirror™.

He turns on the lights on his Pink Princess Magic Mirror™ and his face turns paler than a white girl when she drops her Starclucks. All eight hundred and two of his antique chili pots are scattered along the floor, with ten year old chili surrounding it.

"NoT mY cHiLlEh~!!" He screams in his deep, gerthy voice. He falls to his knees, old chili soaking his green tutu. A single tear falls from his pretty pink eye and rolls down his big, manly face. It drops off of his extremely triangular jawline and right into the chili.

"Show yourself, whoever did this!" His deep voice rings through the room; no response. He sighs and gets up, and walks to his Pink Princess Magic Mirror™.

"Oh magical mirror in my basement, show me the disgusting face of whoever did this!" He grunts. The Princess Pink Magic Mirror™ listens to his command, and a figure pops up in the background behind him. It's his childhood best friend, Momo the Magic Squirrel.

"Momo, how could you do this?!" His deep, confused voice bellows through the basement and into Momo's ears.

"I did it because I've always been jealous of your chili collection!" Momo screeches annoyingly.

"Jealous? But why?"

"Because I knew I'd never have as much chili as you! I just wanted to be cool like you, but you rejected me! And if I can't have your chili, then no one can!"

"But Momo...... I..... Love you." His voice, sounding suspiciously like James Earl Jones.

"You wHaT?!?!?!" She screams in a super annoying voice ((like seriously shut up jesus christ)).

"You heard me! I saved all of this chili for you!" Her eyes widen more so than her head can handle, and they pop right out of their sockets. It's not bloody or anything, they're just kinda googly eyes.

She falls to her knees, examining the mess she had made.

"B-but you told me I could never have the chili..." Momo flicks her tail in agony.

"That's because it was supposed to be a surprise! I was gonna give it to you for your tenth birthday..." Tyra said sadly.

Tyra walks over to Momo and rubs her now-drooping ears.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." He says in his schmexy voice.

"I-I'm sorry I destroyed your chili... I was just so caught up in my own jealousy... I don't know what's gotten into me." Her eyes scan the floor full of broken glass and old chili.

"Well, if you're really sorry, get a mop and clean this up!" He screams and his tone shifts from sad to angry.

His already red face shifts to a darker shade of blush as he realises that Momo is crying.

"W-wait, I didn't mean to sound so mean, I j-just... I'm still grieving over my chili. I've been saving every pot of leftover chili I've seen since I was just a wee lad."

"I am so sorry, Tyra. I can't get your chili back, but I guess the least I can do is clean up the mess."

"That's alright, I can take care of it." Tyra walks over to his Pink Princess Magic Mirror™ and flips a switch.

"You might want to get over here..." He said, raising his eyebrow over his Rhinestone Pink Eyepatch.

"O-okay." Momo the Magic Squirrel said strolling through the 1,000 year old chili.

The floor begins to shift as all the chili falls down into a Recollection Pot below the garage.

"There's gonna be a bit of glass in my chili, but I guess the spices will drown it out." Tyra said, slightly inconvenienced

"It'll be more flavorful!" Momo cheers in excitement.

"Ah yes, I suppose you're correct, lass."

Tyra slides off his now chili soaked tutu and tosses it expertly into a conveniently placed washing machine on the far wall. When he slides off his tutu, it revealing a small, neon green tutu, over the top of a pair of bright pink motorbike pants.

"You sleep in THAT?" Momo says, choking back a laugh

"Yes, matter of fact I do, its my bedtime jumpsuit..." Tyra says, offended and sad.

"O-oh, I didn't mean it th-that way..." Momo says sadly, verging on tears

"I forgive you, Momo." Tyra says, wiping away a single tear from below his eyepatch, which is oddly covering absolutely nothing. His eye is fine, he just likes the shiny eyepatch. It matches with his big, shiny hair, (brought to you by Pantene™, he uses Pantene™ on his everything, his finely groomed hair, his big, bushy, manly beard, and even his FINELY PLUCKED EYEBROWS)

"Well, I suppose we should get to bed, it is 3 in the morning." Momo says

"Where do you live anyways?"

"I literally sleep in *that* tree." Momo said, pointing at the oak in the front yard.

"Oh, okay, that explains all of the noises I hear at night."

"Yeah, figured you would've realized by now, but I guess you're always talking to that 'Dadsuki' person or whatever. That's why I never stop by."

"Oh..." He looks down in embarrassment, realizing she heard all of the conversations between him and Dadsuki.

"By the way, i never did ask about the patch on your slee-" Momo starts, promptly being interrupted.

"Oh that's Dadsuki..." Tyra says, interrupting Momo.

Thus Ends Night 1 of Tyra's Adventures