Lies and Smiles

Chapter 1

Sometimes it's screaming and crying and smashing plates.
Sometimes it's numbness and quiet and "oh god why am I not dead?".
And sometimes it's getting up anyways and staying alive, even if you don't want to.

—-

It was just one of those days again. One of those days were everything seemed to fail. It started this morning when she had accidentally overslept and ran late for class. It was even worse when you're the teacher. And it was not like her students had a high opinion of their headmistress anyway. She knew she had power, for God's sake she was the Supreme after all. But nonetheless using that power for her own matters would just make her another Fiona.

The day went officially down when she poisoned the plant she's been working on for weeks now. The headmistress put all her free time into growing this certain plant and it meant a lot to her because it was for the person who meant the world to her. And now she ruined that too. She's been trying to revive the red dianthus caryophyllus for three hours now. Maybe her mother was right, maybe she indeed was useless.
The blonde was still staying in front of the table, staring at the now wilted plants. Letting flowers grow, especially flowers such as carnations, was so simple and yet she failed it. She clenched her fists and her fingernails dug into her skin. Anger was rising within herself. The headmistress was beyond angry. Angry that she was late for class this morning. Angry that she ruined the flowers for her lover. Angry that the girls of the academy were mocking her constantly. Angry that she married a witch hunter. Angry that her mother treated her the way she did. But mostly she was just bloody angry at herself.

The witch bit her lower lip and hit the tabletop several times with her fists, causing her knuckles to turn red. Hot tears were streaming down her cold cheeks and she could feel her sight getting blurry due to her crying. It was just too much. Everything was too much. With a loud bang she threw the vase and the plants against the floor. The walnut coloured vase shattered into a million pieces just the second as it hit the floor and those million pieces spread all over the place. On the contrary, the once beautiful red carnations were laying next to each other, just some broken off petals were laying scattered next to them.

Meanwhile the blonde was not moving again, one of her knuckles on her right hand turned blood red from a small cut. She accidentally hurt herself while hitting the vase earlier. Tears were still flushing down her cheeks. She didn't mind the really small amount of blood on her hand or the pain caused by kicking the table. In fact the pain felt like something, something she's been longing for.. for a while. It felt like it was really there. Like something she didn't just made up like the optimism and happiness when facing her students or council members. No. This pain was real. Her mind didn't just made it up. And it felt so good to feel something again. The pain felt fantastic. The witch needed to feel more of that.

"'Delia?!" a familiar voice was filling the greenhouse. This voice wasn't inside yet but she clearly heard it. Within the next seconds the headmistress used her telekinesis to remove the rubbish she's been creating in those past few minutes. Cordelia wiped away her tears and cleared her throat to make sure the other witch wouldn't suspect anything.

"I've been waitin' for ya since forever," a curly blonde witch entered the greenhouse. She was dressed quite colourful, wearing a scarf, some feather earrings and lots of bracelets and necklaces. Compared to Cordelia, who was wearing a simple blouse with a floral pattern and a black collar, a black circle skirt and wedge heels, she looked a lot less formal.

The headmistress looked at the younger witch in confusion. Not quite understanding what she was referring to. "Ya have an idea what time of the day it is?" Misty looked at her, "everyone, except the two of us, is peacefully sleepin'. Would ya come ta bed with me, 'Delia?"

She must have forgotten the time. The Supreme didn't even realise that hours have passed since she threw this vase at the ground and yet she was still staying in the exact same spot. Her knuckles returned to her natural skin colour and this one certain knuckle was marked by a small red line. Cordelia remained silent for a while until she decided to speak up, "oh.. I'm.. I'm sorry. I really am, Misty. I was so into that.. into that.. that.. project.. yeah, I was so into that project I've been working on for ages now.. and I.. uhm.. and I got really distracted.. by that project. And because I got so distracted by that project I didn't realise it was that late already. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, honey.. let's just go ta bed," the swamp witch suggested and reached for her girlfriend's hand. She didn't believe a word her partner said but was certainly too tired to fight about this right now. Instead she was just happy when Cordelia took her hand.

"Alright, let's go," the older one smiled and tried to not think about this ruined day anymore. Hand in hand they walked into the huge building of Miss Robichaux's again, trying to be as quiet as possible as everyone else seemed to be asleep. And Misty was right, it was already deep in the night. The stairs decided to squeak now and then and even their bedroom door couldn't remain silent. It was like the house wanted everyone to know someone was still awake. Their bedroom was enormous. They shared a king sized four poster bed and even had their own dressing room and bathroom. But what Cordelia loved most about their room, despite sharing it with her love, was that they had their very own heater. The couple loved snuggling in front of the fire on their loveseat or just holding each other close on their bed. All in all they loved their intimacy.

"You 'kay?" Misty asked, changing into her nightgown while she didn't stop to look at Cordelia, who was also changing into her nightgown but with her back turned to the other one.

When the Supreme was ready with getting dressed for bed, she turned around, facing her lover, "mhm.. just really tired." Within the next seconds she laid down and covered her body with a blanket. The blonde really didn't feel in the mood for talking. Misty laid down next to her right after she did and turned on her side, trying to get physically closer. But the blonde also didn't feel in the mood for body contact and so she decided to just turn around, "goodnight."

"Goodnight, sleep well, 'Dee," the Cajun mumbled and turned off the lights with her telekinesis. She was way too tired to think about her girlfriend's behaviour right now. She would, just not tonight. The curly blonde closed her eyes and drifted into sleep just a few minutes later.

On the meantime Cordelia was still wide awake. The moonlight was filling up the room and although she couldn't see the sky she knew one couldn't see a single star. The rain was just pouring against the window pane. All the headmistress could think about was the pain she felt earlier. It did something to her. It sort of aroused something deep within her. A desire to put the pain from her insides to the outside.