Punish me, Mr mendes

It was all a dream? (21)

I woke up sweating, it was all a dream, what the fuck!? I started piecing all my thoughts together; I don't know an Axel, there was no party, I wasn't raped and Shawn didn't kill anyone. I quickly picked up my phone to check the time '4:38' It was Monday morning, and I knew I couldn't get back to sleep, so I decided to work out for a while and then get ready. After about an hour I got in the shower, then straightened my hair and did some light makeup. I chucked on a pair of jeans, long sleeve cream shirt and a cayenne jacket with some brown boots, being mid October it was cold.

Soon it was 6:04 and I decided to leave for school, I don't know whether to tell Shawn about the dream or not? It wasn't bad but it was fucking weird. It was pouring down rain and the heater in my car stopped working, fucking piece of shit! I eventually got to school freezing my tits off. It was still early for school, it was pretty empty and only a couple teachers had arrived, Shawn being one of them. I made my way into the dark classroom, Shawn was propped in his chair and his face was illuminated by his laptop while the rest of the lights were off, he looked a little worried. I made my way over to him and as soon as he saw me he closed his laptop and his face dropped even more.

"Babe, you look freezing!"

"I'm fine but the heater in my piece of shit of a car fucking broke so I froze my tits off on the way here"

"Well your tits still look amazing to me" this made me chuckle.

"You looked a little worried there, what were you looking at?"

"Hmm? Oh nothing, just a sad story about a dog" I could tell he was lying but I decided to drop it.

"Oh, ok, hey are you coming to mine tonight, we haven't seen each other much lately, I'll cook you dinner babe and we can talk"

"Talk? Why is something wrong?" He become a little worried.

"No babe, I mean like discuss what we have been doing lately and shit"

"Ooh, ok yea sure babe, sounds
great. Hey I'm going to get a coffee, do you want one?"

"No thanks" he raised an eyebrow at me.
"You sure?"

"Yea"

"Ok then, but don't you dare drink mine" he laughed and this made me giggle. Shawn left and curiosity took over me. I lifted his laptop and a picture of Alexander's grave popped up, my heart immediately swelled with sympathy. It read :

Alexander Raul Mendes
25 weeks
Beloved son of Madison &
Shawn
Rest In Peace our little angel
We will see you again

I remember designing this, but I never eventually saw it, last week marked a month since Alec's passing. I never wanted Shawn to go through this pain again.

SHAWNS POV
Lately he is all I have been thinking about, Madison and I haven't spoken and I'm kind of glad, but now every time I see a couple together with a kid, all I think about is what we could have been, and how much I want a family.

Jordan is only 17 I could never ask her to drop everything and have kids with me that wouldn't be fair plus we have only known each other for 2 months and been dating for 1. A couple days ago Alec's gravestone went in and I got a picture emailed to me from the company, I haven't brought myself to go see him yet and I doubt I ever will.

"$12.50 Please" I was pulled from my thoughts by the cashier. I paid for Jordan's and my coffees, I know she said 'no'but I know she can be a bitch without coffee.
I headed back to the classroom, tonight might be just what I need.