Nervous || Tom Holland X Reader

23

"Zendaya, my best friend, I love you so damn much!" I yell as Zendaya opens the dooe to her house.

"Y/N, my best friend, I also love you so damn much!" Zendaya yells in return.

"Hi." Tom smiles.

"Hello." Zendaya greets.

"We need to talk." I tell Zendaya very quickly before rushing into her house.

"What?" She asks, turning around to face the direction I'm heading in.

"We need to talk!" I say loudly before turning right down a hall.

"The living room was to your left!" Zendaya tells me.

"I knew that." I say before backtracking and going into the living room.

***

Tom had left to go buy pizza, something we had forced him to do, ten minutes ago.

"So what did you need to talk about?" Zendaya asks.

"Tom's been acting weird." I tell her.

"What do you mean?" Zendaya furrows her eyebrows.

"Like earlier today we went into this cafe because we were thirsty, and we picked our seats and I got up and offered to buy us a drink. Tom then looked at who was tending to the cash register, saw it was a male, and then got up to order the drinks himself. And hes been sort of clingy lately. And there was a point where he was talking about marriage. He also started kissing me, like really kissing me, a lot. And I'm so scared. I feel like this is going way too fast. I already moved in with him, and I'm so damn homesick. I miss my brothers and my parents. And I love Tom more than I love anything else but what if he does plan to ask me to marry him, or some other really big commitment? Zendaya, I'm so scared." Although I'm not crying, my voice quivers as if I am.

"Oh." She breathes a couple of times. "Well you're always scared. Youre always this little ball of anxiety whether you show it or not, don't think we don't notice. Y/N, you love Tom. Would you do anything for him?"

I take a second to think, to go over hundreds of sinareos in my head.

"Yes." I finally answer.

"So you'd marry him?" Zendaya asks. I go quiet for what feels like a long time.

"Tom said our relationship wouldn't really change, that it's like we're already married." I tell her.

"That doesn't answer my question." Z stares at me with an intimidating glare.

"Marriage is when someone decides to spend their life together. When someone commits to be with someone for as long as their heart can last. Marriage is when you would do anything for that person, but I guess isnt that what love should be too? When you love someone wouldn't you want to do anything to make the one you love happy?" I ask.

"So yoh love Tom. And by your logic you would do anything to make him happy. So if marrying Tom made him happy, would you?" Zendaya asks. I stay silent for a couple minutes.

"I don't know. When I'm around Tom he makes me feel safe, comfortable, it's like he's able to erase all my nerves and all my fears. The moment I'm alone, though, is when I become so scared and I start to doubt everything. Ans I doubt because not all relarionships work out and I dont want to be one od those relationships, I don't want to be my sister" I say.