Slut • min.yoongi

22

"faking a smile
is so much easier
than explaining
why are you sad"

••••••••••••••••••••

"the baby isn't strong and i'm so sorry to say this but only one person can be saved" the doctor said and i felt deaf, everything around me seems unreal.

this is not real.

please, tell me.

"d-doctor" i broke down holding onto his coat."i beg you! saved the two of them, please! i'll pay you even how much it'll cost, just please save the two of them!" i beg the doctor who was looking at me with sad eyes.

"i'm so sorry Mr. Min but this is the best thing we can do" he said in despair and i wanted to cry so badly.

i held the doctor's hand begging him but he just looked down.

"how the fucking hell?! why!?" i burst as i have lost my mind."fuck!" i shouted and the doctor held me down calming me.

"i will ask you Mr. Min, do you want the child to be saved or the mother" he asked calmly yet full of pity. i can't answer that, that's a bullshit! i want them two.

suddenly the doctor scoot towards me patting my back. "Mr. Min, i know it'll be a tough choice" he spoke giving me an assuring smile.

"c-can i talk to her?" i hopingly asked. "go ahead" he answered as his smile slowly faltered.

i immediately barged in seeing you laying on the bed, crying.

i hate it when you're crying.

and i knew so well, what cause that tears of yours.

i walk towards you and you desperately reach out for my hand.

"m-my b-baby" you cried caressing your stomach.. i felt so sick as my breathing got heavier and heavier by the second.

please god, why us?

my shaking hands runs through your cheeks, kisssing your forehead ever so lightly, salty tears came falling down on my eyes.

i can't bare to let anyone of them gone.

"i-it's going to be fine" i wept your tears but you shooked your head in disagree. i was hopelessly calming you down bu how can i? if i myself can't even think properly.

through this time, your mind now was understanding more than before and i hate that you did, i hate that you understand everything.

"Y-yoongi, p-please m-my b-baby" you said and i felt a sharp pain in my chest. how can i just save one of you if i love you two.

"n-no, i'm gonna save you" i blurted out, out of my mind.

your eyes widened shaking your head vigorously while tears rolling down from your beautiful eyes.

you held my hand tightly, looking at me.

"b-baby y-yoonji" you said and smiled after.

y-yoonji? you want to name our daughter yoonji?

"p-please" you cried and my heart ached for a million times.

i hugged you for the last time cherishing your warmth. fuck!, fuck!, fuck!

how do you suppose to think that i could choose like this? god damnit.

i hate this.

i hate this.

i hate this.

i fucking hate this.

"i love you"