Nova's List of Bad Decisions

1

I hated Jackson Moreno

I used to think I didn't hate anyone, but there was no other way to describe the feeling I got whenever he flashed me that cocky smile he was known for.

His voice seemed to echo in my head with obnoxious clarity.

"You're such a teacher's pet, Green."

"You're such a good girl, Green."

"I can't wait to hear about how you ace college, Green."

He was absolutely infuriating with his smartass comments and his inability to call me by my first name. One would think the boy who used to sit naked in my sandbox and patch up my booboos when we were kids wouldn't have grown up to be such a dick, but Jackson is living proof that you can't count on boys.

Childhood friends or not.

In fact, that very morning during the graduation ceremony, Jackson had leaned forward from the row behind me, where the rest of the M-names sat, to whisper in my ear, "Ten bucks says the principal hugs you when you walk on that stage, because he will just miss you so much, Green."

Unfortunately, he would've earned those ten dollars had I taken the bet instead of hissing the strongest swear words I knew at him until he leaned back again, laughing.

Now, strewn between my two best friends, in the wake of graduating high school, and lounging next to the sunny public pool, I still couldn't find it in myself to find a lesser word than "hatred" to describe how I felt.

"Girl, you're going to end up burning a hole in that chair, if you don't cool off." Leo announced, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I can't help it! He is just so, so—"

"Infuriating?" Chantel finished, pushing her sunglasses up and over her head to look at me. "Yes, we've heard."

For the first time since meeting up with them again after the ceremony, I grew sheepish. I hadn't realized how long I had been ranting about Jackson for. Or how repetitive I had become in my anger.

"I'm sorry, guys." I sighed, leaning back into my chair. "We were supposed to be having a nice day to ourselves. First day of freedom and all."

"It's just, we finally graduated high school, Nova." Leo murmured. "After this summer, you never have to see or hear about Jackson Moreno again if you wished. Don't you think that's something to celebrate?"

"I just can't stand it that he thinks I'm some naive, little girl who is so innocent she doesn't even know what a blowjob is!" I grumbled, turning on my side to face them both, a pout on my face. "I mean, I'm not that bad!"

Both of my friends suddenly made themselves busy. Chantel seemed overly preoccupied with reading the ingredients list on the back of her suntan lotion, and Leo began watching a nearby bird intently.

"I'm not!" I protested again. I felt like I had to defend myself, but when they still wouldn't look at me in the eye, I paused. "I'm not that innocent, am I?"

Chantel finally looked over at me, pity in her eyes. I groaned in defeat and flipped back onto my back. I knew many people thought me to be a good girl, but the fact that my closest friends thought so as well kind of stung.

"It's a good thing, Nova!" Chantel tried to comfort me. "You're going to the best university out of all of us, because of your amazing grades and track record!"

"And you've never once had to go to the health center for STI testing or emergency contraceptives!" Leo added.

I gaped at them both. While I had been studying and staying in, they had been partying and going out. It had never bothered me before, but suddenly, for the first time in my life, I felt left out of my own friend group. They had been out living their lives, while I didn't do more than study or watch the newest Netflix series.