Sick Little Games 2 [The Sequel]

Definitely 'Baby' [4]

May 4th, 2016

I got in my car, tears streaming down my face. I hear Bella barking as I open up the garage door and pull out of the driveway. I don't know where I'm going. My moms house? One of the guys' house? I don't care where I go, I just need to get away from Jack. He's quite possibly the biggest fucking asshole I've ever met. It's so dark outside, and it's raining. I can barely see, but does it even matter? Honestly, at this point, I don't think it does. I push harder on the gas and keep driving. My heart is pounding, my head is spinning and I can't see much in front of me. The stupid seat belt icon is flashing and making that irritating sound. But I don't care.

How could he still be mad at me? IT WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT.

Or was it?

I'm sobbing now. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I am the reason Chris killed himself. I pushed him over the edge, and Jack is punishing me for it. I deserve it. I deserve all of the punishment that can be given to me.

A deer in the middle of the road snaps me out of my thoughts and I swerve out of the way to miss it. Before I know what's even happening I hear a loud bang and crunching noises. I try to straighten out the wheel but there's no use, I see a giant willow tree coming my way and-

I jolt awake, crying and gasping for air. "Maddy?" I can barely hear Jack next to me. I look around our very dark room, and notice it storming outside. Figures. I always have nightmares when it rains. It's like my very unfortunate super power. "Maddy, are you okay?" Jack pulls me in to him. I wrap my arm around his waist and cry in to his shoulder. He pulls my entire body over, putting me in his lap and holding me tight. "It's okay." He says, rubbing my back.

I feel him push my hair behind my ear and kiss the very top of my scar from that car accident. The scar travels from the middle of my forehead, all the way to my left ear, running along my hair line. Jack kisses every inch of it, and stops at my ear, before telling me again, "It's okay."

He keeps rubbing my back and whispering, "I love you," and "It's okay," While I cry myself back to sleep.

---

May 10th, 2016

Bella just had her surgery yesterday, and now we're 5 grand poorer than we were last week. So we've really just been hanging out around the house to avoid spending money. Jack and I are currently sitting on the couch, with our recovering fur ball sitting between us. Jack's got a play station remote in his hands, and his headphones on as he plays L.A. Noire. I've got my guitar in my lap and a notebook in front of me as I work on some new stuff for the album.

So far we have 3 songs ready for the new album. Ground Control, Life of the Party, and Afterglow. By 'ready', I mean fully written and some basic acoustics to go along with them. We haven't truly messed around with the rest of our instruments yet, we like to get all of the lyrics right first, then go in and add the rest.

I'm currently working on a song that I think will be called Last Young Renegade. I've got down a little strumming pattern for the first verse, but now I'm stuck on how exactly I want the chorus to go.

"You were my last young renegade heartbreak," I hum to myself, strumming. I stop. "Heartache?" I sing, "Renegade heartache." I scribble out 'break' and replace it with 'ache'.

"I like that better." Jack says. I jump. I didn't know he was listening. He winks at me, then returns his gaze back to the TV.

"You were my last young renegade heartache, it only took one night, caught in the eye of a hurricane, baby," I sing, before then trying 'darling' instead of 'baby', and try to imagine in being sang in Alex's voice. Jack interjects, not taking his eyes off the TV, "Baby. Definitely baby."

"I think Alex will like 'darling' better." I say, scribbling out 'baby' and changing it. "What does it matter what Alex likes?" He asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask, genuinely confused. "Alex is the one singing it, so it always matters what he thinks."

"Wait," Jack pauses the game and looks over at me, "You're not going to sing your own songs on this album?" I give him a weird look, "When do I ever sing my own songs?"

"Now that your secret's out, you have to." Jack says.

"I don't 'have to' do anything." I tell Jack, and look back down at my paper. "Especially not sing in front of thousands of people. You ass-hats are lucky I sang in front of you."

"Maddy, you're singing with Alex from now on." I feel him staring at me. "I already talked to the guys about it. We've all agreed that your voice needs to be heard."

"I'm not, Jack."

"You are."

"No."

"Yes."

I look up at him and he looks serious, and so am I. "I'm not comfortable with it, and I'm saying no. That's not something you guys get to decide for me."

He stares at me, before shaking his head and turning back to his game. I keep looking at him, and he starts to look upset - or annoyed? I can't exactly tell with Jack. Either way, he has no right to be! I'm a big girl, I can make my own decisions. And I don't like change. So I can decide to keep things the way they always have been if I want to.

What are they going to do? Kick me out of the band?