Away

The flight

The flight was the cheapest I could find. As I ease into my seat, it seems to rock slightly. The cover is threadbare and the stray threads make my neck itch. I pull my hood up over my head, partly to stop the itching and cover my neck and partly out of fear someone will recognise me.

Not that anybody would recognise me from anywhere: I'm miles and miles away from where I live (No. I'm miles and miles away from where I USED to live).

A flight attendant walks up the aisle and leans over the seat next to me, then taps me on the shoulder.

"Sorry, I don't think you heard me the first time. I'm just letting everyone know their seat belts must be on in the next few minutes, as we're getting ready for takeoff. Would you like a refreshment once we're in the air?"

I apologise, nod an okay, decline the offer. The attendant walks away, straight blonde ponytail swinging from side to side.

Like... Her ponytail.

No.

I won't think about her.

It's in the past I can't think about her I can't think about any of this I can't do this it's in the past now I'm getting away from all of this.

I rub my temples with my thumb and forefinger, leaning my head against the glass of the window I'm next to. Outside, dawn is just breaking. The clouds are penetrated by rays of pale sun light, which bounces from window to window of Heathrow Airport.

"Passengers are asked to please fasten their seat belts immediately, prepared for takeoff in one minute. This is flight 2731 to Queens, Manhattan. Refreshment orders will be delivered once we are in the air. Enjoy your flight."

The pilot's voice rings through the speakers above all of the seats. I look down at my lap, and realise my hands are shaking and sweating.

I fumble with the clasp on my seatbelt, my hands quivering so violently.

Am I really doing this?

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice asks.

I jolt upright in my seat and realise someone has sat down in the empty seat next to me. It's the girl I bumped into, who was hugging goodbye to her relative before I boarded the plane. She carries on talking when I don't reply.

"...You're shaking. Are you alright? Do you want a drink?"

I shake my head slowly.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm fine. Just..." I gesture with my hands aimlessly.

"Tired?"

"Tired."

"You're telling me." She laughs. "This is a crazy departure hour. Just before six in the morning?" She exhales loudly. "I haven't slept in eighteen hours, travelling to the airport and everything."

I smile and nod. I know the feeling.

"I'm Kate, by the way."

"Hi, Kate," I respond quietly. I don't want to sound rude. But I can't... Talk to anyone.

"What's your name?" She asks. "If you don't mind me asking, of course."

"Alex."

"Hi, Alex."