sometimes
when i think about my brother
i think that it was my fault he left
even though it damn well wasn't
but maybe
just maybe
if i stepped into the argument between him and my parents and stood up for him
maybe they would have nicer to him
maybe he wouldn't have gone and lived with his friends
maybe i would still get to see him everyday
but
it's been months since i last saw him
6 months, to be exact
and 2 years before then
this september, it will be another year
another year of me missing him
another year of me regretting so much.
you know what he said to me after the argument?
"i'll explain it to you when you're older."
well guess what?
i'm older
what hurt my mom so much she started crying?
what hurt so much that my dad and mom were screaming at him?
what hurt him so much he felt the need to move away from his family?
his mother told us he was a bad kid
but he seemed perfectly fine
we wrestled with each other,
laughed,
i helped him with his homework, even though i was in fourth grade and he was in high school.
